I Realised I Had Wasted 8 Years Of My Life When My Boyfriend Shamelessly Told Me Why He Was With Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 17 June, 2017

Eight years of teenage friendship transformed into a love story.

We met as friends and moved into a relationship eight years after. You would imagine me being the luckiest girl on the planet. And yes, I was lucky to have a guy who was my best friend and a lover too. The relationship, like our friendship, was filled with love, sweet fights and unending support — a complete package, I must say.

He promised me that he would never leave. I felt extremely lucky to support him when he was at his lowest and help him raise his confidence whenever anyone let him down. I felt like someone was hurting me when he was hurt and I felt bad when he was low in life.
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I gave eight years of my life to this relationship — both of us did. But, I think I was blind all these years to not understand what happened next. During a minor argument, he said his mom would never accept me as I belonged to a different caste. He now wants to focus on his career and I am a distraction.

I was a distraction because I was concerned about his future more than myself.

It was the strangest thing I’d heard. I was mad at him and cried my eyes out. The only thing I wanted to ask him was — Why was he doing this? He switched off his phone and I cried the whole night, trying to call him every other minute, but he had slept off with his ambitious goal.

Different thoughts started to crowd my mind. Was I not pretty enough? What did I do wrong? Why is he doing what he is right now?

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I wondered if this was the same man I had loved or was I blind all these years. I was under deep stress. After repeatedly questioning him, he said he was frustrated by my questions! What?!

Why is he doing this? I still have no answers. How can you call someone a distraction when all she had been was a soul mate, supporting you in every way possible, for eight long years?

There was a raging fight between my heart and my brain. The heart was justifying his actions for some odd reason and the brain, which sensed he was happy with someone else, helped me let him go. And I listened to my brain for one whole year, until this one day. He came back after one whole year and told me he left me for a reason.

He told me to wait for him while he could explain why he left me. I did wait, but the explanation has still not reached me. He just doesn’t have the guts to tell me or he himself doesn’t know why. I thought to myself — when he does not seem to have an explanation for himself, how in the world will he ever be able to tell me the actual reason behind whatever happened between us.

He is a confused man. This time, I let him go, listening to my head and not my heart. I left him this time, ignoring the voice of my heart. And I know I left him for good.