We Made Long Distance Work But We Could Not Crack The Indian Family Marriage Code

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 23 August, 2018

Indian marriages are all about the union of families then where is the liberty to fall in love? Love is an illusion is what I can conclude after all these years. I am an independent self-reliant working woman and I fell in love with a guy after my break up with my ex. The relationship initially started on a very casual note as none of us wanted to be in a committed relationship immediately post break up. But things always don't work out as you plan. Hence we gradually fell in love with each other.

He moved to a different city with a new job and I thought our relationship would end there as long distances are mostly a curse. But to my utter astonishment it worked out in just the reverse way.

We started meeting each other almost every alternate weekend. I would travel down to his city and so would he. Our relationship, unlike most, grew stronger with distance and time. We both are exact examples of the statement 'opposites attract'. We are way different from each other in every aspect but as they say, when it's love, nothing else matters. Well, so I felt until the topic of marriage came in. He belongs to a small town whereas I am from a metropolitan city. Hence our families had very different ideologies, cultural setups and thought structures, which eventually stood in between both of us as a barrier.

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We both tried our best to overcome it but none of us were ready to let go of our families for the sake of each other.

Maybe that's when I realised that love is nothing but an illusion. We started fighting with each other, accusing each other's families and completely forgetting the love factor. Love, which was the thing that brought us together is now totally sidelined in between astrology, differing values, ego, self-respect and what not. In India, I guess every single thing is important to consider when deciding to marry a person, other than love. Cause it's not the union of two individuals but their families so of course if the families aren't on the same page, the individuals have to suffer. After all, who cares that they fell in love and thought of spending their life with each other.

Even in such a so-called modernized era, all we rely on is our stringent belief system and no one is ready to alter it for the other.

If marriage is such a family dependent phenomena then why not love, people should take permission from their families also before falling in love or claiming to love someone. In between all this, no one thought about me. Neither my family nor his and the funny part is, not even him. He decided to part ways because our families are very different from each other. Maybe he will realise someday what he has done and maybe it will be too late or maybe he never will. But for now, everyone and especially people and their stringent beliefs have killed my love.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because it is the fate of too many love stories in India.