My childhood was full of troublesome episodes. Pushing through each day of my life was challenging. No, we never had financial issues. Mentally we never had peace at home. The only escape for me was to visit my granny's place and stay there. I always loved staying there as I felt like I was being surrounded by happiness so weekends, festivals and summer holidays were my only hope to live life. There was a boy next door to my granny's place, who was just a year older to me and naturally we always fell in that age group gang and played hide and seek, shuttle badminton and many more games together. With time, we grew up to become teenagers, I was in 12th and he was in 1st year of degree college. Both of us had newly received mobile phones from our parents, so number exchanging happened organically.

Slowly our friendship blossomed into a budding young love.

We not only met near my granny's place, we used to meet frequently outside too. We went for movies, had long call conversations and life was all happy. Since I knew his family from childhood, I always shared my life's instances and stories with his mother. I had and still have an issue, which I keep mostly to myself. I never ever got my period. Until the age of 18, my parents did not think it was important for them to take me to a doctor. After I reached 18, my mother got a bit tensed when any relative or friend of hers would pop the question about my future, marriage etc. That is when my mother took me to a hospital for my first ever check up on this issue. What seemed to be a normal, solvable issue initially, went on to become a "you were born with it, so now live with it" kind of a situation. I visited more than 6 to 7 very famous gynaecologist and endocrinologists of my city. Innumerable physiological tests could not reveal what exactly was wrong with me.

I remember visiting a famous gynecologist upon someone's reference at the age of 19.

Upon visiting her, she had told me that I had one of the rarest genetic disorders (a name I do not remember). It had been close to 8 years now, the disorder is seen only once in a million women. Back then we did not have smartphones to instantly google up. At that point in time, all I did was question, why did God choose me to be that 1 woman in a million to suffer from this? After reaching home from the doctor’s, the first thing I did was, went on my computer and searched for more information on this syndrome. I hardly got any information, and the minimal information I received had nothing to do with my symptoms. Coming back to our love story, every bit of my issues and visits to doctors were known to him, everything seemed fine. As I shared everything with his mother, all these details also were known to her because I always believed that someday my issue will be solved. She always gave me certain tips for naturally boosting my hormones, she spoke in a way to boost my confidence and she was extremely supportive. Although, she did not know about her son's and my relationship and we both acted normally during our family get-togethers. He always called me up every day at night 10:00 pm sharp. Those days, there was an offer on phones for a limited number of hours of free calls from 10:00 pm to 6:00 am. That one night, everything was normal until the clock struck to 10:15 pm, I hadn't got a call or a message from him.

I was desperately waiting, I received a message at around 10:35 pm asking me to wait for his call and not to sleep.

Finally at 11:00 pm I got a call from his number. The only thing he uttered was "Listen, please never ever call me again, this thing between us cannot continue". I was in deep shock, I called back multiple times later. My pillow was completely wet with my tears, he did not receive my calls. I tried calling up from my mother's phone, the call was not received. I slept with mixed emotions in my heart. He always had a habit of playing pranks (he was quite a brat, outspoken, and naughty person). The next morning again I started to call him and text him. I called up his friends, went to his college and used every possible way to get in touch with him, everything went in vain. I bunked my half day classes (by now I was in 1st year of engineering and he was in his second year, both in different colleges) and tried to get in touch with him. Nothing worked.

Meanwhile they even shifted their house within a month's time and no one knew their current address.

My wait for him was seeming to be endless. I am someone who moves out from any shit quite well and quickly, but this was my first love and it was all good between us and the fact that I didn't know what actually went wrong made me weak day by day. Six months down the line, I got to know through my cousin (who stayed at my granny's place), that the reason for leaving me was that his mother had brainwashed him about my condition, saying that I am not a fertile women, I am not a child bearer, I am not blessed with the capacity to continue their family and I would prove to be a bad luck charm. Not even once had it crossed my mind that the aunty who used to give me so many health tips to improve my condition, who was so supportive that I had shared things which even my mother did not know would do this to me just by now knowing that there are high chances of me being her daughter in law. She not only broke my heart and stole my first love, she also broke my self-confidence, belief in society and hope that someday, even I can marry and lead a normal family life. At that age, it was devastating for me! But I slowly learnt not to take any emotional support from anyone, not to blindly trust anybody and give away secrets of life.

It's been 8 years now, he is happily married to a girl whom his mother chose for him.

We never met again, except for once on one of our mutual friend's wedding. And I too realized that he was never meant for me. Whatever happens, happens for good, although we may not see that good immediately.

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