There Is Only One Way To See My Parents Again, And That Is If I End My Marriage

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 12 August, 2018

I am 24 years old married woman. My parents found my husband on a matrimonial website six months back. There had been many twists and turns in these six months of my married life. As I was the youngest daughter in my home, I was always pampered by my parents and my elder sister. My husband and I got to interact for three months before our marriage. During that period we chatted, talked on phones, but not as much as most of the engaged couples do. I generally speak less. Moreover, he was a software professional and got less free time.

We didn't actually exchange our thoughts and our values.

That was one of the biggest mistakes made by me. He was the only child, and his parents were retired government teachers. Everything was going fine until our marriage day. Next day after the reception, my husband and in-laws started to point out all the minute things such as two grams of gold was less in a ring, the car was not properly decorated and so on. We were shocked to see such side of their behaviour. I asked my husband if I could stay back in my parents’ home for two days. I was again shocked by his reaction. He warned me a divorce if I didn't go back with him.

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From next day onwards, he showed me his different sides. He always compared me to other girls on Facebook. He would say, “Look that girl posted a pic with her husband, but you didn't. You don't show the interest in me.” He even restricted me from going to my parents’ home. He even asked me not to talk to my parents for more than 15 minutes. He ordered me to call his mother daily.

He earned 85k per month, yet he didn't buy any furniture. We slept on the floor.

One day, he came very frustrated from the office and checked my phone. When I asked him not to do so, he asked me to get out of the house. He again asked me to go for a divorce. Next day, he locked me in the room and took screenshots of all the chats I had with my mother and sister. I felt it was high time and I had had enough of his actions. I decided to leave the house. He then started crying.

He even touched my feet not to leave. I was startled by his split personality.
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I decided to leave, and I left. From next day onwards, I didn't receive at least one message or call from him. He and his mother spread among my relatives that I didn't co-operate with him on our first night and another night also. I was shattered by such comments. We had our complete physical relationship on all the days except on those two days. They blamed me in front of everyone.

Days passed into weeks. I started to miss him. I remembered the few good moments we had before our marriage. All my friends and loved ones suggested for me to end this marriage. But somewhere deep down, I felt that divorce was not a good thought. Weeks turned into months, and I tried contacting him many times. But he ignored me completely. I became restless. By seeing me, my parents decided to drop me at his home.

On that day, all the elders who came to settle the issue patched our relation.

From that day onwards, he was my family and me to me now. He changes his rude continually too. He stopped to put restrictions on me. Now the problem was that I was suffering from depression. All the things which happened were constantly striking my mind and I was unable to digest the thoughts. When he pushed me away, I missed him badly.

But now when he is trying to be good, I am suffering from the past.
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Because of my behaviour, I am punishing my parents. I feel that I am lost and don't have any self-respect. That's why I begged that person to come back. Though my parents didn't like this, they compromised on many things. But now that he is good to me, I am being haunted by all the things he said to me and my family.

I fear going back as I lost confidence in myself.

I fear that I might miss him again. Please suggest me what to do.

Editor's Note:

We often hear people say, "Don't let past ruin your future." Share this story if you agree.