She Wanted To Be Transparent To Her Family, But They Beat Her Up For It

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 8 November, 2017

I am 24 years old and my girlfriend, Soha, is 19. Thanks to Facebook, we got in touch with each other. Actually, we know Soha’s family because her father is a tutor. One of my siblings used to go to him for tuitions. I was only a kid back then.

About six years back I got a random friend request on Facebook from a young, cute looking girl. I accepted friend requests on Facebook only if I had mutual friends. In this case, I had a couple of mutual friends with her, so I accepted her request.

For five years, we hardly ever chatted. But about a year back, I randomly happened to chat with Soha and she gave me her phone number. I added her to my list of contacts and soon we started chatting on WhatsApp. We also called each other frequently. We went on to become good friends.

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She was already in a relationship with another guy. This had been going on for almost 3 years. As time passed, she started developing feelings for me though she was already dating someone else.

Her parents were against her relationship and her boyfriend was working in a far-off place. So I could understand how she started getting attached to me.

I belong to a well-to-do family and have two siblings. She is from a decent middle-class family and has five other siblings. I know that her parents are very strict. Going by the stories that she tells me, I think she has experienced a lot of torture from them. They abuse her physically for no reason. She is their eldest child and a girl.

She has gone through a lot of tough times due to which she has developed several medical issues. The doctors are not able to accurately diagnose her condition. Her siblings love creating problems for her and they do so repeatedly. She is very scared of her parents.
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Despite all these issues, she confessed that she had started liking me after a month and a half. I couldn’t give her much of my time because of my hectic work schedule. Whenever I managed to spend time with her, I ended up making her my punching bag.

I had known her for almost two months now. But I had met her just thrice in person. But we were constantly in touch over WhatsApp and called each other even late in the night. After a few months, she suddenly decided to cut off all contact with me.

I had been very busy with my work schedule and had continued to make her my punching bag. So she literally blocked me.

A month later, she called me again and said, “Sorry.” She said that she wanted to be friends with me again. I forgave her and we became friends again. I proposed to her on my birthday and asked her to be my girlfriend. Obviously, she said, "YES."

But she put up a condition. She said she would go ahead with the relationship only if her dad agreed to it. I was reluctant to talk to her dad because I wasn't perfectly settled in my career.
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I knew her dad very well. He would never agree to anything that she said because he was always against her. But before I got around to talking with her dad, she confessed that she had been dating someone else to get over me. But she also said that she had broken up with him as soon as she became friends with me again.

Then she went on to say that she got back to him again after a couple of days because she knew I would make her my punching bag again. She also thought that I would find it difficult to trust her again. But she now swore that she had broken off with him completely and said that she was sure that she wished to be with me only.

She realized how much I had changed myself for her. I really had changed A LOT of my ways just to get her back into my life because I really loved her a lot. I was so glad that she could see the change in me.

But after her confession, I really cried a lot. But still, I forgave her and asked her dad if she could be my girlfriend. I told him that I wanted to date his daughter. AT FIRST, he agreed. But after a few days, he changed his mind. He said that I was TOO OLD for her.

Both of us were depressed. Her parents took away her phone and asked her to stay away from me. I could contact her only on Facebook. But soon her parents found out about this and took away her laptop too. I could not contact her for over a month.

One day, she suddenly fainted due to low blood pressure. She said that it was because of me. She told them that she missed me. So after more than a month, we started talking with each other again. Of course, we did this without her parents' knowledge. But she was caught talking to me again.

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This time they filed a police complaint against me. They stated that I was mentally harassing their daughter.

I was called to the police station. Her mother had come there too. A woman police officer then ordered me to stay away from their daughter. YET she kept in touch with me on Facebook. I forgave her for whatever happened because I knew it was not her fault. Her mother had forced her to do this.

It’s been almost six months now. We share a healthy relationship. Her parents don’t know anything.

I don’t know about our future. All I know is that she has got a horrible father. Her mother isn’t all that bad. Soha has got too many complications in her family. She is damn scared of her parents, especially her dad who assaults her in many ways repeatedly.

But all I know is that we are madly in love with each other and I am ready to do anything for her. I just hope and pray that everything turns out well for both of us so that I can spend my life with her. I want to make her my wife. I want her to be the mother of our children.

PRAY FOR US.

Author's Note:

Do LOOKS really matter? Why do parents interfere so much? Isn’t it enough that both of us are happy with each other? Who gives parents the right to beat their children or push them against a wall or pull them by their hair? How can a parent ever beat a child with a belt? My family is cool about everything. It is her family that is causing problems. I really thank God for giving me such a loving and caring family. I hope nobody gets parents like hers.

Editor's Note:

We all have this strange tendency of controlling people and situations. At the root of this tendency is a deep-seated fear. We want our loved ones to be safe and lead happy lives. We forget that our children are growing up with hearts and minds of their own. Letting go of our children is a skill we all need to consciously learn. They will surely falter and stumble and fall. As parents, we can always offer them a steadying hand of support. Let's send up a prayer when we share this sincere young man's story and hope for the best.