My Husband Visits Prostitutes Everyday, And My Family Blames Me For It

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 9 November, 2017

I've been married to a man for the past 18 years. When I married him, I hadn't even seen him. It only happened based on how much my family trusted his family. Only after marriage, I found out that he hadn't even gotten into high school, but he had procured a good job in Dubai by producing false certificates.

From the beginning, he has been mentally torturing me. I've had two sons and even after all this time, it hasn't stopped. I've always supported my sons like a pillar.

Whenever my husband visits from Dubai, we all become tensed. Our life feels like a jail. At the same time, we have to make sure that he gives us money for our expenses. My sons are old enough- they are 17 and 15- and they're still being harassed by him. He keeps threatening that he will quit his job and stay with us. I shudder to think of it.

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His attitude towards us changes miserably. He stopped giving us any money and constantly beat us and abused us. Then one day, my son helplessly lodged a police complaint and he was taken away from the house. Family intervened, and we let him come back. He stays in another room, but even then I have to beg him to give me money to run this house. I don't have a job.

Since he was abroad, I didn't know for sure, but I always suspected that he was a proper womanizer. For 15 years, we couldn't go to Dubai.

Recently, I found naked pictures of his friend on his phone. I never asked him about it, but I quietly copied the evidence. I know that he was definitely sleeping with her. I really had to stop myself from confronting him. I was saving this for the right time.

I stopped going to him. I didn't want to catch any diseases from him. He began going to prostitutes almost every day. He's been spending money on them every day. I saw this all on WhatsApp. There's an agent who arranges women for him in Dubai. He has a horrible habit of sending these girls lewd messages. I copied all of that too.

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I went to a lawyer and asked them about what to do. He is an addict and it is intolerable, but on the other hand, I have to worry about my sons' education. The property is in my name, and he keeps harassing me for it. I can't deal with this womanizer anymore and I can't leave him either.

He has cheated on me, given me and my children so much agony. My people tell me to leave him and make him pay for our expenses. His family won't even believe what I say, let alone come forward and help me in this situation. I am helpless because I don't have a job. I don't know how to come out of this safely.

Somebody, please help me come out of this! He's a sadist womanizer who has slept with hundreds of prostitutes. And everyone blames me that he did so because I refused him sex. When I have concerns about contracting a disease or an infection from him, it sounds like a joke to him. This has been happening since the beginning of our marriage, and if I had known earlier, I would have tried to distance myself from him sooner. But how can I safely go away now?

Editor's Note:

Women are trapped in abusive marriages even today, and they don't have a safe way to leave and rehabilitate. Share this story because someone may have the solution to her predicament.