I write this with a burning anger, frustration and utter disbelief and shock at the level to which people stoop these days.
I married a man from another caste amid stiff opposition from my parents. I loved him and he loved me, or so I thought. We had a perfectly normal married life until a year and half ago. Then came the sudden change of winds; my husband became irritable and started finding reasons to just shout at me. I tried to pacify him and tried to make things work as much as I could but he and his family only found faults in me. All the while going through the mental torture, I never mentioned anything to my parents because I had made the decision of choosing the guy I would marry despite their disapproval.
Then came the shock. To my utter disbelief, my husband bluntly told me that he wants a divorce and me out of the house. This was a year ago. I tried reasoning with him but he just wouldn’t listen. To add to my shock, his parents asked mine to come and take me away.
I was in a complete state of confusion. I couldn’t comprehend the gravity of the situation. All I could do was fall at their feet and beg them not to do this. I kept telling my husband that there are disagreements in every marriage, no two people are alike.
He kept telling me that the reason he doesn’t want to stay married to me is that I don’t look beautiful anymore, that I’d put on weight, I don’t give him my salary, and I don’t cook well.
His mother’s reason was that since the day we got married, my parents had not welcomed him like the so called ‘damad’ of the house should be welcomed. They accused them of not honouring them the way a man’s family should.
I lay there on my husband’s feet, and he only pushed me away and called up my parents again to take me away. By then, my distraught parents came to my rescue and tried to reason with my in-laws, but they all just wouldn’t listen. His father bluntly told mine that if they wouldn’t take me with them, they’d throw me and my stuff out of the house. By this point, I was just worried about what my parents will say.
Quite unexpectedly, it came as a pleasant surprise that my parents gave me their full support. My mother told me that being a teacher– and a woman, if my mother-in-law behaved in such disgusting manner, there was absolutely no need to live in a house that didn’t respect women.
There’s just one thing they said that day which changed my whole perspective towards things. My father told me that I am a woman and it’s not the affluence of the family that matters, it is the way the family treats the daughters of their house that does. You should never stay just to be disrespected, and go through life with humiliation just because you are a woman. They said they had raised me to be strong enough to face the adversities in life and that they will always be there with me even if it means fighting the whole world. Those words gave me the strength I needed that day.
A few days later, I found out that my husband was having an affair with his childhood friend’s wife who stays in the next building, for the past two years.
In my absence he brought her home, or took her to his native place at other times. I also discovered that his parents were aware of his illicit relation with her all this while, but supported it only because she belonged to a rich family. In the four year that we were married, we used to hang out with this friend and his wife on weekends, for movies, outings, dinners and even vacations. They paid a visit every festival.
She called me her sister. Sister.
It’s sad to know there’s nothing known as a human conscience anymore. Another revelation I had was that these pathetic people had planned to divorce their respective spouses to marry each other, all in conspiracy with my husband’s parents. She wasn’t happy with her husband because he wasn’t able to meet her luxurious demands.
When his family realized that their social image will be tarnished now that I knew the entire truth and had evidence of their son’s affair with a married neighbor – and of their entire planning at that, my husband began to take sudden interest in working things out with me. I told him at once that a guy who was shameless enough to sleep with his best friend’s wife, has absolutely no shame left in him and is not worth even a penny. And I went ahead and filed for a divorce. Now I’m just waiting for it to come through.
Thinking about all these things makes me wonder whether there’s any sanctity left in marriage or is it that people’s ethics have stooped so low that they’re blinded by money and physical desires. Either way, it’s a depressing thought.