My Family Prioritizes Money And Respect Over Their Own Daughter's Happiness

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 2 April, 2018

Hello everyone. I am just a 24-year bride-to-be who is about to get married in 15-20 days. It is an arranged marriage. My whole family likes him, and they said yes. He belongs to a well to do family and that is the only thing my family prioritized and looked for. I got engaged 6 months back.

We met for the 1st time on our engagement day! We hadn’t spoken or chatted before that, nah nothing.

So, after the engagement was over, his family started showing their real side. They started demanding this and that. “We want this car, this much gold, our clothes should be like this”, blah blah. As any other Indian family, my family agreed to whatever they demanded. This guy to whom I am going to get married, acts like he doesn't know what his family is doing.

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He acts weird whenever I ask him something about himself. He always replies in one line, “yahaan aake pata kar lena” or he would say that he doesn’t know much about himself.

He stops talking to me without any reason for 2-3 days and then starts talking normally again whenever he feels like talking. When I ask him if everything is okay, he says yes for the sake of it but my heart tells me that he is hiding something about himself. His mother and sisters are already planning shit for me and my family. They always try to make me look bad in front of him. I knew this from the beginning, that his mother is not a nice lady, but nobody listened to me, not even my own parents.

Now my family tells me, “humari izzat ka kya hoga agar humne ye shaadi todh di to? Hum unhein shaadi ke baad apne aap dekh lenge.” The worst part of all this is that I trusted my family blindly, with my future.

I regret not taking a stand for myself and even though I tried to raise my voice, they all started illogically comforting me by just saying that everything will be fine. “You are overthinking, aisa kuch nahi hai”, they keep saying things like this. I have already lost weight, about 10 kg and I am already facing mental trauma and going through depression. I really don't know what to do and where to go. I am not happy even about the person I am going to marry, leave his family aside.

I don't know what my parents are thinking and what really matters to them, me or their so-called respect?
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