My Family Married Me Off To A Man For A Reason I'll Never Understand But I Survived

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 12 April, 2017

This is a story of a girl born in a middle class family. I had big dreams but somehow they were crushed between my family problems. I clearly remember when I was 3 I had only one meal a day because that was all that my parents could afford while drinking plain water and feeding me. Still we were happy. Money was the only issue but there was love in our family. But after a few years it completely went kaput and then I never saw them as a couple again.

The things that I saw between them were fights, abuses, allegations and hatred. My sister and I started doing poorly in our academics with people coming to our house daily and warning my parents to return their money. My parents would hide in the bathroom and my 5-year-old sister and I had to face their warnings. And daily fights between our parents only made things worse.

With no electricity at home, situations were worse. Even the thought of those days gives me goosebumps.
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I as a child loved dancing so started going for dance class ever since I was 3. Initially, I loved dancing but a child who was hungry for love and care was sexually exploited there. I still continued the class because I didn't know if it was wrong or right. I loved dancing and the person who used to teach me was God to me.

But this never ended, I was exploited by many people at different stages in my life because my parents were busy with their own problems. They didn't have the time to pay attention to their children.

Years passed and I started earning as well. As a kid I started teaching tuitions to kids even younger than me. Life showed no signs of change.

By the time I was 15 I was quite mature, I knew how to stop people from touching me. There was a guy in our own community from a well to do background who became my mom's friend. He wasn't the first one for mom but he was the first one for me. He became very close to mom and somehow I was used to see all this and I don't blame mom as well.

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She knew what she went through all her life, may be this was making her happy. My sister and I never intervened neither did we have the guts to question. She was very strict. He started coming home daily. And then one fine day he asked me out.

I was clueless, why me? And all of a sudden I felt like I was a 30 year old girl who wasn't getting married because of all the family pressure. Everyone was forcing me to say yes. How could I?

I was 15. Secondly, he earlier had an affair with my uncle's wife, which I knew about, then my mom and now he wanted to marry me. My family wasn't mine anymore, they could only see his money.

I was stopped from stepping outside my house, I was stopped from dancing. I was even was stopped from meeting my friends and if at all I did my mother would beat me black and blue.

This continued for 2 years and this time again, he started sexually exploiting me. He obviously didn't feel the need to ask for my consent. The worst part as a normal girl was that I complained to my mom about this, she said "It's normal even if you date someone, it's okay if he takes away your virginity!" Imagine a mother saying that to a 16 year old. Then I thought since I already had sex, why not just get married to the same person.

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After 2 long years of torture, I said "Yes". The biggest reason was I wanted to run away from my own house so I thought he'd be the better option. Life after marriage was even worse. The things he promised me were all fake.

He had no money and now I was the maid of his house at the age of 19. I was at home morning to night and I was only allowed to go out with him.

Abuses and fights were normal. I had bad memories of my parents as a child and I could see myself there now. I tried and tried but he didn't value. After 3 and a half years of marriage I was blessed with a baby girl. It was bad for me because I was 22 then and my house responsibilities were too much. And there was also a 22 year old inside me who was dying a little with every passing day.

After 2 more years and many arguments I started a dance academy with my husband's help, which he taunts me about every second. I, however, started feeling free. I started staying happy. I was back to being the 15 year old. Situation at home was still bad. I thought of stepping out of my marriage but he tried every possible way to stop me and he was successful.

But I'm proud of myself. Today I'm a 27 year old dance instructor, running a dance institute now. My daughter is 4 and he has calmed down with his demands. He will never change but now I am grown up and it's better I grew up with him. I know how to handle him now and I answer back every time. I am not stopping myself ever again. Now it's about surviving with him, I never loved him anyway.
Editor's Note:

Doesn't it appall you that child marriage is still a thing in our country? Share this story to make this reach the authorities.