My Family Is Not Against Love Marriage But They Don't See The Lie In It

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 14 November, 2017

I am a middle class working Hindu girl. I come from a reputable family and our family is a well-connected and influential one in our society. We’re from a joint family, my dad is the eldest brother and I am the eldest cousin. I’ve always been extremely studious and my family has great expectations and dreams when it comes to my work and my marriage. Our family is not only large, but we’re all very attached to each other and rarely are decisions carried out without the opinions of every member taken into consideration.

When I was in college, I started dating my best friend. Today, it’s been over eight years but it’s always been on and off.

After college, however, our relationship began deteriorating and we soon decided to be friends. I told my mom about him, and she was surprised. They aren’t against the idea of love marriage but they never expected this from me. She knew about him, and had even met him a couple of times, but didn’t think that he lived up to my expectations when it came to looks or my education.
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My friend was aware of this, but we never considered this to be a problem and we still continued being what we were to each other.

Last year, for work, he shifted abroad and that’s when he told me that he won’t be coming back. This was a shock to me. And before we could even discuss this, he stopped talking to me and blocked me from everywhere.

I tried contacting him however I could, but it was of no use. I begged him to stay friends, to be a part of my life, but he said it wouldn’t be a good idea for either of us. I was devastated. I never imagined a life without him and suddenly, had no choice but to do this.

While I was trying to cope with all of this, I met a guy from my friend circle and we hit it off instantly! We know each other for hardly two months, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. We’ve even spoken about taking our relationship to the next level and talking to our families about us.

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But there’s just one thing that’s stopping us here, he’s Christian.

I’m in love with him but I know my parents and my extended family. They’re never going to agree to something like this and there’s going to be a lot of fights about this.

And yet, I decided to tell my parents about him. They are in shock. They want me to shift to the USA and find a job there, find a good boy and live there. But that’s not what I want.

I’m unable to keep everyone happy and I know that I won’t be able to fall in love with someone again. I don’t know what to do and for once, I want to choose my happiness over everyone else. I’m still ambitious, I’m still going to work towards my career, but this time, I want to choose love and I want to be with someone who also wants to be with me.

My grandmother knows about this guy and wants me to leave him; she told me that something bad always happens when one chooses a love marriage. She’s even listed out tons of examples for me. And yet, I can’t let go of this boy.

I’m depressed and unsure of how to take things forward in my life right now, please help me.

Editor's Note:

Share this story, because the choice between family and love is harder than we think it is and sometimes, love needs a win.