My Ex Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because His Parents Didn't Want A Dark Skinned Girl For Their Son

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 7 July, 2017

I was 18 years old when I moved to the U.S in order to pursue PhD. I met a guy when I was 20 years old. He was from Andhra Pradesh and he spoke Tamil just like me.

I can describe him as a fair complexioned guy. On the contrary, I am a dark skinned girl.

But all this did not matter when we started talking to each other. He had seen me at an Indian function and contacted me on Facebook. I accepted his friend request. Since we were living in the same city, the relationship took a step further. We moved from being acquaintances to friends, friends to close friends and then we were more than friends. Initially we started spending every weekend together and slowly even weekdays together. I learned how to speak Telugu.

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Initially we both did not define what was happening between us but eventually confessed our love.

I was still in graduation school and he was working (He had moved to this city for a job). He seemed to be the perfect man I thought I would fall in love with and I did. I loved him like I have never loved before. He was a good singer, a good dancer, had an awesome taste in music, loved movies, liked traveling, was a foodie, cooked well and I seemed to share similar interests.

I had always wanted to marry someone who could sing me to sleep and he used to do that.

We could just sit and watch movies on the couch and not feel bored and even fall asleep comfortably in that small couch cuddling each other. That small space in each other’s arms was always our deal breaker in major fights that we had. He asked me to move in with him; even though he lived too far from my university. He used to travel by car. I decided it was okay to move to the other end of the city. His workplace was closer. But neither of us was comfortable. I shouldn’t complain because I decided to compromise. I used to do most of the cooking, but he helped with the cleaning. He used to pay most of the bills, so taking the bus seemed like something that wasn’t that bad. I used to take 3 buses from his place to my university every day – back and forth. When it snowed or was too hot in the summer, it was almost impossible to walk between the stops.

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But I never felt a thing, because I was in love. There have been times when I could have left.

Like when I found out that he had a long distance girlfriend (whom he broke up with later) or when he cheated on me or when he slapped me. Once a cheater, twice a cheater, thrice a cheater, he even admitted to cheating on his ex-GF at that time – But how could I be so blind? Well I was. I loved him so much that I could never walk away.

I waited to see if he would see my love beyond his infidelity and eventually he came around and we agreed to get married. After two years of living together, I had to move out as his parents were visiting him. Two weeks later, he left me. Why? Colour and caste.

His parents could not accept the fact that I was a dark skinned girl, who was not a Brahmin. He readily accepted what they said and broke up with me over the phone.

He was not even ready to look at my face. I cried, begged, fought, tried to talk sense but nothing happened. He blocked me on social media platform. Two weeks ago, I would have never imagined that this would have happened. I was a mess. I tried to commit suicide. But eventually I gathered courage and moved on.   Four years later - I have graduated with a PhD, currently work for a corporate and I found a guy who loves me for who I am.

He does more for me than I do for him. He treats me like a princess but I still couldn’t help but wonder what life would have been with my ex until the day I found out he was married. I cried, but at that moment, I realized that he was never worth it. I let go. I am now happy. I can never give up memories of good times with him but I am not hung up.

Author's Note:

Ladies, never force yourself to be in a relationship or give up your happiness, because it feels right just for a moment. Or because you love the idea of him. When it vanishes, you are the one under the bus. Find someone you deserve and if it does not work out, move on. There is no dearth of fish in the sea. Well, not that you compulsorily need a fish to complete your life!