mother-in-law MOTHERHOOD death indian family

My Baby Was Put In An ICU Immediately: I Never Got To Hold Him

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I was married into a well-reputed family where most of the members serve in government jobs. But still, something was missing.

In the initial days, everything was going well. Even my mother-in-law used to compliment me and my parents regarding the things they received as dowry. My parents went beyond their means to provide for everything. Only I know how much they had to struggle for it.

As I'm well educated, I wanted to work somewhere. But I had to be with my husband wherever he was posted. But I visit my in-laws often and I never miss important occasions.I was fine with everything, and even if my in-law's scolded me for something, I would take it in my stride. Even though they never deserved it, I always treated them like my own parents and became their daughter.

Once, I had to move in with my in-laws because I couldn't go along with my husband. I stayed there for longer than I had anticipated, and suddenly, everything turned into a nightmare.

We fought every single day. And my mother-in-law would bombard me with her loud conversations.

Finally, I thought I had a special moment when I became pregnant. I was really excited, but it was all overshadowed by my mother-in-law's incessant taunts that I would finally understand the pain of motherhood. To top it all, she would keep saying that they only wanted a male child in the family.

She kept saying that God had blessed me with a child so that I could finally understand what she was going through. It was very awkward for me to hear it at that time.

She would shout at me all the time, and as a result, my pains would get triggered. So my husband decided to send me to my mother's place. When I was with my mother, I would get my checkups done regularly at an international hospital for the entire duration of my pregnancy.

Everything was going well and my baby was okay. But in the 8th month, even with my pain, my husband decided to move me back to my in-laws' place. He was very rigid about taking me back, and it turned out to be unfortunate for me.

I was in the 9th month and my mother-in-law was still yelling at me and cursing all the time. Even if I told her that I was in pain, she would accuse me of faking it. And one day, I even started bleeding. I was rushed to the hospital, and after seeing a doctor, I returned home.

My water broke two days later and it looked black in colour. We panicked and I was rushed to the hospital again. I underwent a surgery and my son was born, but he was in a very critical condition. Ever since I was bleeding, he was consuming his own waste inside my womb.

He was in the ICU and I didn't even have the chance to hold him once. 2 days later, I lost my baby boy.

My mother-in-law started cursing me and abusing my family in the hospital itself. She accused my own mother of feeding me something that made me lose my baby.

Our financial situation is also not the same. Earlier, my husband used to handout lakhs of rupees to my in-laws for all their domestic expenses. Every single expense. But we got kicked out of their house and my mother-in-law blames me for everything.

It has been 6 months since my in-laws spoke to me. It's like I don't exist anymore. My husband talks to them but I'm not allowed to. They don't call or come to visit. I've been abandoned by them. I'm lost and I don't know how to be alone like this.

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