I'm Still Married To The Man Who Doesn't Touch Me, All Thanks To Our Homophobic Society

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 26 September, 2018

I am a sex-deprived, independent wife. I am a married woman, but my life is nothing like a normal married life. Last year, when I got married, I had no idea that life was throwing a big challenge at me. I wear a smile every day when I go to work or talk to my relatives but that does not make me a happy person.

Since it was an arranged marriage, I perceived not sharing the bed on the very first night, as my husband's gentle and friendly nature.

But then it became a ritual, my husband has not touched me till date. In the beginning, I started to doubt myself that maybe I am not beautiful enough, and whenever I spoke to him about our physical intimacy, he said that he needs time and I should be patient with him. Because of his mysterious behaviour, we could never become more than two strangers who live in the same house. No one knows about our bedroom secret, I could not gather the courage to tell my family. I feel ashamed to talk about this. Life was going in the same monotonous manner until yesterday, and now I think that it was for the better. Yesterday afternoon one of my college friends called and told me she wants to go shopping with me, so I took half day leave from office and returned home early. I was a little amazed to find my husband's car, parked in the garage. I thought he must be working from home. I knocked on the door but no one answered, so I used my keys and got inside the house. I looked around my husband's study room but he was not there. Then I heard some sounds coming from my bedroom, I was confused because my husband hardly entered my bedroom.

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I headed straight towards my room and found him lying naked on my bed with another man.

They were making out. The other man was dressed in my clothes. I was baffled, I felt sick, I did not know what to do or how to behave, I was standing still. The two of them were shocked to see me and dressed up in no time, the other guy moved out of the house and my husband drove away alone. The entire evening that whole scene was flashing in my mind, at night when my husband returned, he came to my room and confessed that he is a gay and it is not possible for him to get on the bed with me or give me marital bliss. He told me that he got married because his mother had threatened to commit suicide if he did not behave as per the societal norms. He wants me to take a decision, he accepted that he wronged me and he is ready to bear any consequence. Yesterday, I could not catch sleep for a moment. The whole night I thought about all this, I feel it is not my husband's fault entirely. It is our society’s and it's rigidness.

Our society is responsible because it corners same-sex lovers and that is why they prefer to act upon their emotions and needs as discreetly as possible.

I am shattered, I had accepted my life the way it was, even though I was kept sex deprived and I didn't find a way how my husband could have satisfied me. I still do not know how to react to all this, I do not want to humiliate my husband just because he finds a man attractive and loves him but on the other hand, I want my life to get sorted. Please help!

Editor's Note:

Our society has failed time and again to accept us as we are, why then, are we so hell bent on pleasing it? Share this story to create awareness and help the author find a solution.