I Wish Your Son Loved Me As Much As He Loves You: Now I've Lost Seven Years Of Love

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 19 September, 2018

I was in a relationship for 7 years. I am 6 years older to him. When we started off I was 32 and he was 26. He introduced me to his parents in the beginning itself and they liked me. However, during the 2nd year of our relationship, he communicated my age to them and they were not happy.

One day, his mother called me and told me to end the affair since they’re not happy with my age and we might have problems later on, also because I would not be able to have children and make him happy as I’m older.

I was really hurt because I loved him so much. I spoke to him about his mom’s phone call and wanted to break up but he didn’t let me go. He’s too sensitive and he told me that he would commit suicide if I left him. So I didn’t want to hurt him and since I loved him, we continued without the knowledge of our families. Finally this year I had to make a decision. All these years I refused all the proposals that I got from my family because I loved him. Since he didn’t let me go, my mom called his parents and told them that he was bothering me. Thereafter things got worst for him and his family started pressurizing him. One day, his father called me and threatened me, asking me to cut off all connections with him. I was terrified because it wasn’t me who was hanging on to him. Though I love him so much, I always wanted him to leave me because I didn’t want him to get into trouble because of me.

So during the past few months, he told me to find someone else and get married as until I get married he too can’t get settled in life.

I was very hurt to hear this from him, from the person whom I love so much. He wanted me to go and marry someone else. One thing was clear for me, that he loves me but it seemed like he did not want to marry me because of his parents. As per him, either I should be with him in a relationship forever like this or else I should marry someone else. Both conditions sounded very selfish to me because how could I stay in a relationship with him as it does not lead anywhere and on the other hand, how could I marry someone else when I love him so much? I really didn’t want anybody anymore because I can’t think of anyone else but he kept pressuring me to get married to someone soon. Finally, I told him that let’s forget others and get married but then he said he can do it but if anything happens to his mother since she’s too sensitive, even he will not live. I feel I’m tortured emotionally by everyone. How can I ask him to marry me when he keeps saying things like that? I was very hurt. Am I such a bad choice for him that his mother would react that way?

Day by day, I feel he has changed a lot.

Now he has come to a point where he doesn’t want me at all but I think he’s keeping in touch and checking on me because he only feels sorry for me. Maybe he’s doing it out of guilt. I am very hurt. I feel at the end of the day he just wants to dump me somewhere into the arms of someone so that he can make up his mind and fulfil his parents’ wishes. I am seriously helpless. I miss him so much. During our relationship, he was always faithful to me, so much care and attention he gave me. Nobody has ever loved me the way he has and I am scared to lose such a person. I have only my mom now. My father passed away last year and all four of my siblings live overseas. I feel so lonely and depressed. I am clueless as to what should I do. Please advise.

Editor's Note:

Sigh. Share this story to create awareness. Letting go is not always brave, sometimes it is nothing but stupidity.