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I Was In Love For 7 Years Only To See Her Walk Away

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

First year in college and cupid had struck in the first month itself. With a pretty sunshine look and innocent charm, she swept me off my feet and I couldn’t stop but admire her. Such was the craze that I approached her in a haste to avoid all chances of being friendzoned. However, it took 3 months for her to accept my proposal for obvious reasons and I appreciated her fears and respected her decision.

It was her first time away from home and we chatted for nights, me guiding her on how to deal with the big bad world. A studious kid, she was highly ambitious and this triggered me to focus on academics as well lest I lost out on her, given a difference in our interests. We enjoyed the time spent together but dodged acceptance of the same in public, a mutual agreement cracked between us.

Second year of college and we got to share more time together; part credit goes to our common mess that allowed me to sit right next to her. We were inseparable!

Soon our training sessions knocked the door and luck favored us yet again, both got placed at The Oberoi, Gurgaon. However, we did have to be cautious as her cousin worked at the same hotel and we surely didn’t want any commotion back home. Come December and I was super excited, planning a surprise birthday for my lady. I took a day off at work to spend time with her and this turned into a nightmare with her creating a fuss over the reason I had stated for availing the leave, which was ‘my girlfriend’s birthday’. And, this was not the first time, she often kept me waiting for hours at the MGF mall, doubted my intentions etc. Her actions were a strong blow to my morale and soon I decided to part ways with her. I avoided conversations for 3 months, cementing my decision on the pretext that my mom would never give in to an inter-caste marriage.

Third year of college and I grabbed an accommodation in the hostel premises, a news rejoiced more by her than I. I sensed the pain in her eyes and cursed myself for having her go through all of it. However, our happiness was short-lived and within a week my friend and I were rusticated from the hostel for reasons not to be mentioned here. The incident further increased our gap and we narrowed down to being ‘just friends’. She often had doubts on me dating our juniors, hence, I avoided conversations with them not because we had something brewing but only to ease her nerves and make her feel happy. By the end of the year, we were almost separate with only common groups being the cause of interaction.

Campus selections happened and we were soon in two different cities, sketching out our career paths. Occasional casual chit-chats was all we had now. I, however, travelled to Bangalore on her 21st birthday and surprisingly found her in love with me even then.

I was moved but going back to her meant me working against my mom’s ideals. But I guess I was willing to take the chance and proposed her again. Now the task was to raise the veil in front of my parents and for this I invited her over to my elder sister’s wedding. Her infectious smile and jovial attitude won all in the family, boosting my confidence.

24 and my girl was exposed to a regular Indian norm, parents starting their hunt for a perfect groom. We had a discussion and I asked her to hold the horses till November as I wanted to disclose the news to my family on an F2F than over a call. It was a battle with myself for 3 days, choking out means to talk to them about my lady and finally have them on my side. All was well but my dad asked for some time to which I gave in. But as they say, future is unpredictable, my girl’s father got a paralytic attack and fearing the worse, wanted the wedding to happen soon. All kind, my dad agreed to their request and confirmed our marriage over call, promising a personal visit soon to take things further. The meet, however, got delayed by 8 months, given my sister’s pregnancy. I took a step and visited Lucknow to assure her parents of our words and their daughter’s future. It was tough and I was hell nervous but her family’s warmth helped me settle down. Two months later, my parents visited her place for customary rituals, making our relationship official. We were super excited and conjured images of our marriage scheduled later in the year.

It was this when I shifted to Hyderabad with a new opportunity. I tried luring her into shifting base as well but the lack of proper career options had her stick to Delhi. She, however, proposed change to a brand (that had a chain of hotels) and then request a transfer to the Hyderabad branch post a year. Our wedding bells were to ring soon and her 1-year tenure meant that we would be separate for 6 months post marriage as well. Though dejected, I knew it would be a good move for her career and when we had withstood the test of time for 7 long years, meagre 6 months could be managed. Meanwhile, our families set upon narrowing down a wedding date, considering factors like rituals, birth calendar, my dad’s leaves, etc. We had two dates in hand, April 28 and November 24. Being a banker, financial year ends are pretty hectic for my dad, hence, we zeroed on November.

I was on cloud nine but my girl’s abrupt behaviour did bother me. Initially, it was about having a court marriage instead of elaborate rituals. I, however, couldn’t give in to this as my parents were too keen on having a lavish wedding and also it’s the blessings of the entire family that helps lead a good life. This was followed by stringent calculation of all expenses, avoiding calls and messages and fights at the drop of a hat. Even post continuous requests she refused to pay me a visit and this bogged me down further.

Our families were slated for a meet 5 months prior to the wedding for an elaborate discussion on rituals and ceremonies. A month prior to this, we decided to meet to clear out doubts lingering in our heads. While I was overjoyed and eagerly awaiting her arrival, what I was unaware of how this would change my life forever. We greeted at the airport and quite adverse to my expectations, her response was very cold. I sensed a certain discomfort in her attitude, which she shirked off stating health issues. Hell broke loose the next morning when she opened up the real reason of her aloofness.

I opened my eyes to the reality that my girl was in love with someone else since the past 6 months and they now wished to marry each other. And, she wanted me to understand and stand by her to help her disclose the fact at home. I was mum not knowing how to react to this sudden news.

She was my dream girl and we were all set to tie the knot. I wept like a child, begging her to think upon her decision. The next 2 days were tough with me trying all means to win her back. In due course we came closer and she changed her decision, lending me a new ray of hope. 4 days later she left for Delhi with a promise to close the chapter within a week. While I was confident she was mine, she proved me wrong yet again.

Once in Delhi she was a new leaf and things turned worse when one day I caught her online at 5 in the morning. On being confronted, she had a series of lies to offer and switched off her phone to avoid further conversations. I was anxious and called up an old friend to seek help only to be introduced to reality and the word ‘betrayal’. The situation had depressed me immensely and I decided to visit Delhi and take a final call.

In Delhi and she was furious to know about my presence, floating innumerable reasons to avoid any meetup. My emotional self was slowly giving in to all the mess and I confronted her, asking her to choose her desired path. Astonishingly, she blamed me for all her misdeeds to which I had a blank look.

However, my sudden visit did uproot a lot of her mysteries and each surprised me more than the first. My girl was already in a committed relationship with someone, was hunting a job abroad at the guy’s hometown, the couple were gearing up for marriage with the guy’s mom’s disagreement being the prime cause of delay. Even things that I knew were personal were discussed with the guy such as honeymoon destination, wedding expenses, faults in our relationship, etc.

I had just realized that I had been sidelined long back, and currently, was nothing more than a backup plan lest her new love’s family didn’t accept her. I was distraught to know the world I had spun was nothing but farce and my lady was fooling around with me so much so that she involved my family in the circus as well. Irony was, she still wanted to continue our relationship despite confessing that she was with me only to keep herself safe at home.

The next 3 days of my stay had me up on my knees, trying to figure out things and her whereabouts. Her behavior was quite strange, refusing me access to her phone and giving me the same only post deleting her chats. Though she tried convincing me another time, vouching about her honesty and fidelity, I knew that things were far beyond what I perceived. To track her actions in my absence, I downloaded the Whatscan app in her phone and what poured in left me in utter disbelief. The next 2 days unveiled all secrets of her heart and mind, her marriage plans, the guy’s family visiting India to meet her, my girl narrowing down on dates for the visit, etc. My world just crashed before my eyes and there was nothing I could do.

I decided to call off the wedding and informed my parents subtly about the same. I texted the same to her, closing all doors of communication. She did send me a fleet of messages and made frantic calls to reach out but I was determined. When I still wanted to believe her desperation she did something that left me speechless. Her wedding plans with the new family were on full swing from kundli match and sharing the same with the guy’s family to setting up a formal meeting with them and her visiting Lucknow to convince her family, all ran parallel.

Amazed at her multi-tasking skills, I decided to confront her for one last time and mend things, if at all there was scope for it. Her replies and explanations ring in my ears till date and find it difficult to believe that I was in a relationship with her for 7 long years. That was the last and I ended it all there.

The next few months were difficult, recuperating to the pain and deceit. Sleepless nights, innumerable curses and hunger struck days, I had finally come to terms with reality. The wedding was called off, resulting in a string of calls and messages enquiring about the same. It’s difficult to accept that 7 years of my life were in vain.

But as they say, success is the sweetest revenge and I shall get the one meant for me in due time!!

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