I Was From A Lower Caste And He Was A Divorcee, So We Were Not Permitted To Marry

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 20 June, 2018

Today, it’s been a year yet whenever I remember that day, a tear rolls down my cheek. It was my angel's wedding day. It was a regular Thursday morning for everyone but to me, it seemed like the last day on earth.

The person whom I’d loved the most, after my parents, was going to leave me forever.

I’d completed my last exam of the 8th semester and was traveling 300 km just to see him for one last time. After his wedding, we would never be able to see each other like we did. He wanted to see me but couldn't come to my place as he had returned from abroad just two days prior to his wedding. It would’ve taken him two days just to come and visit me. Moreover, my exams were also going on.

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All through the journey, I couldn’t stop thinking about the lovely days that we’d spent together. I met him when I was in my fourth semester. From the first day that we started talking till date, he has never disappointed me.

He has only surprised me with his unconditional love.

I lived in a hostel and I’ve seen several relationships starting, then flourishing, and ending as quickly too. Whenever I saw those relationships, I thought that falling in love was a stupid thing. I’d see people talking over the phone for hours and quarreling over silly things, which would result in tears through the night. They would skip meals and their sleep too and as a result, they were unable to concentrate on their studies.

I hated this phenomenon of 'love' till I slipped into it.
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We met on a WhatsApp group. He was the cool guy who solved everybody's problems. When I was going through a few problems, people asked me to approach him for help, as he was good and trustworthy. I kept those things in mind but I never contacted him. One day, a small misunderstanding in the group led me to talk to him. That is how our conversations began and not a single day passed without talking to him.

We met after a few weeks and I was extremely moved as he traveled a long way just to see me. Later, I came to know that he was extremely unwell and he ignored his health to meet me with so many gifts and chocolates. With each passing day, I was falling for him.

We saw several ups and downs in the past two years but we continued to be each other’s strength.

He is my angel and my love for him has never decreased even a bit. When I first met him, I was going through a difficult phase in life. He asked me to be strong, to fight back and stand up for myself.

There were times when my parents didn't support me but he was always by my side.
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There was no formal proposal in our relationship. At one point in time, we realized that we were happy with each other, so we remained connected. However, both of us knew that this relationship would not have a happy ending.

For his family, I was a girl from a lower caste while for my family he was a divorcee. But for us, we were perfect.

He was also going through a tough phase when he met me. He had just gone through a separation and was finding it hard to get back to normal. He would shut himself up in his room without talking to anyone. He had stopped going to work too. I motivated him to get up and stand on his feet again.

People around shunned him since he was a divorcee but I held him tightly.

He got a job in his city then moved outside his state and eventually moved abroad. Finally, he was well settled in his work and his family was also happy for him. I knew that they would start thinking about his marriage and my role would end soon.

Whenever I thought that our relationship was going to end, it would take new turns.
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We were far from each other, in different time zones, and unable to keep in touch regularly, yet we got to know each other better. At that time, I didn't even have my android mobile, which meant no WhatsApp messages and no video calls. We kept in touch through emails. Every day, I’d go to the library in my college, read his emails and write back to him. Sometimes, I’d sit late just to wait for his reply.

He would send me 2-3 emails a day in which he’d tell all about his day. He never insisted that I wait till late to talk to him especially during my periods. Once, I got my periods when I was with him. I was in extreme pain and he did everything he could to console and comfort me. Even when he was abroad, he made sure that I didn’t skip my meals, studied well, and did my extracurricular activities etc.

At the end of the day, he was always eager to listen to the smallest detail of my day, even if it was just the output of an experiment.

During my exams, he would write my name on his palm so that he could see it during his busy schedule and say a silent prayer for me. He would fast for me on important days like my exams or presentations. He was aware that most of my friends were guys, but he never doubted me nor did he warn me against being with them, which I’ve rarely seen in any relationship. When I was with him, I actually understood and experienced telepathy.

He was a father, mother, guardian, mentor, a best friend and a human diary for me.

I had never been so special to anyone. He told me that I was like magic for him, whenever I was around him, he could forget anything. In the two and a half years of our relationship, we barely met around 15 times. But each of those meetings has their own memories. Another thing that I’ve admired about him is that he never took advantage of me.

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We spent a few nights together in different situations, but he never did anything wrong or uncomfortable. My amma would often tell me that he was just out of a marriage and must have his own desires, which is why he approached me. But if that was his aim, he could have done it very easily but he respected me. He had always been my greatest support. Both our families were aware that we were close to each other but they thought that we were just friends.

For my family, I was coming out of my past traumas and I would never fall for a divorcee while for his family, he was also coming out of his grief and would never fall for a lower caste girl.

We knew they would never permit us to get married, still we tried our luck. He was expelled from his home for four months and I was also asked to end the relationship. Nevertheless, we tried to be with each other.

The day of my campus recruitment was the worst. It was the first interview of my life and I was shortlisted to attend the final HR interview. The result was expected the next day but it didn't come. My mother told me that I wouldn’t get this job because I was in love with my angel. Her words pierced me and I also lost hope, but he kept encouraging me. He was sure that I’d get the job and I did get it.

With each semester, my CGPA only increased despite all the extracurricular activities I was involved in. I got through the GATE exam with a very good rank and was also selected as the best student in the whole batch. All this happened only because he held my hand and guided me. We struggled a lot to be together, but at last, we decided to part our ways.

We couldn’t upset our parents for a lifetime.

He was the only son while I was my father's doll. Their smiles mattered more to us than our happiness. They could stop us from getting married and living together but they can never stop us from loving each other. When his wedding date was being fixed, he requested that the date is after my exam, as he knew it would be difficult for me to write my exam.

I kept thinking about everything throughout the journey till it was time for me to get down. We had decided to meet for one last time before he left for his wedding and I returned home.

My sister had accompanied me on my parents’ insistence to ensure that I didn't elope with him.

He was going to receive us at the railway station. I walked to the exit of the station and there he was, standing beside his car. I have never heard any instance where the groom escaped from his home on the morning of his wedding day. But he did it just for me. We were meeting after two months and the way he looked at me was so touching. Our eyes did all the talking since we couldn’t say much in my sister’s presence.

We could see our dreams getting washed away.

We thought of having breakfast, our last meal together. During breakfast, the three of us were largely silent, but his knees kept rubbing mine, as if to tell me, “Don't worry, everything will be alright.” All of a sudden, he told my sister not to doubt his intentions as he fed me one bite. After some time, he fed me another bite.

As we sat there, he concluded his role as a lover, a parent, and a guardian.

It was time for us to depart. He wanted me to attend his wedding because he wanted the most important person in his life to be there when he started this new phase of his life. I agreed to attend his wedding to offer my wishes and blessings to my angel.

His mother thought that I’d come to break the marriage but I quietly watched him take another girl's hand and make his vows to her.

At the same time, I saw my world falling apart. I still love him and I know he loves me too, which I am realizing now and I’ll probably talk about it in my next story. I just have one request to the society and to every parent; loving a person is never by choice, it just happens and if two people are in love, please don’t separate them.

The pain of separation is unbearable and it lasts for a lifetime.
Editor's Note:

It's not easy to let go of your love. It's harder when the other person loves you equally but circumstances force you to part ways. Share this story because there is no pain bigger than separation from your loved one.