I Used To Be Papa's 'Pari' Until She Came. Then Everything Changed.

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 1 May, 2020

Papa ki pari, 

I'm called. 

They always say that daughters are the apple of their father's eyes. And that is certainly true in my case. I have been blessed with a father who brings a ray of positivity in my cynical world. He is the one who has always inspired me, supported me in all my decisions, and he trusts me like no one else.

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I never say that openly to my husband but my father is the person I adore the most in my life, more than my husband and my children. I was distraught when I had to leave him after my marriage and it took a long time for me to settle down in my current family. So then what’s the problem? It's all good, right? He is an awesome father and I love him to the core. Well, it was all good until my brother got married. I thought I was his favourite and his “pari”.

I was staying in the US after my wedding but he would still make me feel special when I would visit and would give all his time to me. Everything felt the same and I always looked forward to going back home. Then my brother got married and he and my sister-in-law moved in with my parents. I am happy that my parents are not alone and I have to admit that my sister-in-law is really sweet and there is no saas-bahu saga here. She takes good care of my parents. So then what is the issue?

The issue here is that suddenly I feel everything has changed. My house, the food, and most importantly the attitude of my father. It does not feel home anymore and my father does not have time for me. I used to speak to him daily for hours and now, I hardly talk to him. Mainly, I see that my father and my sister-in-law gel really well and I can clearly see him caring more for her than me. It just feels that I don’t matter to him anymore. This has shattered me from inside.

My husband says that I am jealous and maybe I am jealous. But I am more frustrated with this social system. The system where a girl is expected to leave her house, her identity, and her loved ones and go into a new house and build all the relationships while the boy stays in the comforts of his family. A system where the girl’s heart always stays in her parents' house but her body stays in the husband’s house. I know all females have done this including my mother and my sister-in-law but this system is not for me. I just wish to be free and I want to go back to my old life and be the apple of my father’s eye again. 

Because "Papa, I love you!"