I Still Can't Believe He Was Forced Into Marrying Someone Else

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 3 August, 2017

I met a guy in my 20's, it was not love at first sight but a strong attraction at first sight. And we kept looking at each other from afar but never had the courage to come and talk. Somehow we exchanged mobile numbers, now I don’t remember who approached first but I guess it was spontaneous and we started to talk.

I got to know that he was from Patna and had come to study MBBS and I'm a Punjabi and my family is quite conservative. Leave alone falling in love with somebody but even talking to a guy is forbidden and considered indecent. Amidst all of this I fell for this Bihari Babu (I gave this nickname to him) and then I understood how thrilling it is when you meet your lover while lying day and night. This went on for 2 years and somehow my family got to know about him.

I was house arrested, my phone was scanned , and was not given to me for days. I could not even meet him the last time before he left the city to go back and I was so disheartened thinking my love will remain incomplete. I stopped talking to everyone at home and I did not want to live with them but I could not take a reckless step. Although I am a very emotional person, I am quite a practical person as well and my second thought was, I need to study well and win back the trust of my family as I wanted to go to a reputed university for PG. It worked. I was allowed to go to the USA for studies. I deliberately selected the University in the same city as where my Bihari Babu had got admission and applied.

It was a far fetched idea that we would meet again but I wanted to stick to our plan. So I moved.

In the beginning, I was happy but then gradually I got homesick and lonely. And fate was not on my side so I did not bump into him anywhere. Finally I checked his Facebook profile to find some information and I found his University address but I didn't know how to contact him so I just left a brief message to see if he replied.

The reply came and we decided to meet. I still remember I had butterflies in my stomach and I could not sleep the whole night, I was going to see him after 1 long year, that too in the USA.

Finally we met at his dorm, he was angry and thought I used him and that I never tried to call and I explained the whole story to him. How things had changed and how I reached there. We were riding so high on our emotions that we just could not get enough of each other. We cried, embraced each other, kissed, made love - all in those few hours, just so many emotions running.


The whole day we did not let go of each other and again the year passed and my family and his family was pressurizing us for marriage. So we decided to confront our families. He called his mom and told her about us and all the high voltage drama started. She said how he could do that to his family. He was also reminded of his younger sister for whom they were looking for a groom so now if he married a Punjabi girl, nobody will marry his sister. He tried to convince them from all sides but all in vain.

After a few days his mom called and said his dad was very ill and he needed to come home. We got worried and scared and we were not ready to pay this price for our love.

Still he said he will talk to his dad and he left only to never come back to me.

After 2 months or so just an email came saying he is getting married to somebody else and how he could not fight his family and he wants me to forget him. I was shattered. I tried to forget him but he had become an integral part of my life. Even after 8 years, he is very much in my heart. But finally I stopped pretending that I have or ever will forget him. I just moved on with that feeling.

I forgot completely about my family and then I never got a chance to speak to them. But today when I sit and think about what went down, I get so furious. What is the point of getting education if we are still stuck with casteism and how parents overlook the happiness of their children on the basis of this. Till date I think what if we had eloped or what if we would have stood firm, would things be different? But now thinking all this means nothing but what still remains true is my love for him which I guess will never fade away.