I Married The Man I Thought Was Perfect For Me But He Changed Overnight

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 26 June, 2017

Why do people want an educated girl as their bahu when they cannot accept an independent girl? Just to show off in the society?

Before my marriage, I was a strong and confident girl. I would never tolerate injustice from anyone, either at work or in my personal relationships.

I dreamt of marrying a person who would respect me and my parents, and love me unconditionally. Was I asking for too much? I married a boy who I thought would be my dream man. He convinced me that he will love me no matter what and always keep me happy. My in-laws were very greedy, which me and my parents didn't realise before marriage. We clearly told them that we are a middle-class family and cannot afford a lavish wedding; but we will conduct a wedding within our budget. They assured us that they will not put any burden on us and both parties will contribute to the wedding. They said they are very happy to get a gem of a girl like me who is doing well in her career and they are proud of me.

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Alas, they were false promises. They quickly started asking for things like clothes, jewellery and a car. We retaliated, but my fiancé assured us that he will pacify his mother and such things are common in arranged marriages. He said he will not let anyone break this marriage as he loves me. How foolish I was to have believed his words. We fulfilled every demand they made.

My in-laws never respected or showed any courtesy towards my parents. We wrongly believed that the boy is good and I won't have to live with in-laws, so I should marry him as I loved him a lot.

Finally, the big day came and we got married. That was the day a free, independent, confident, happy and chirpy girl died. 

My husband and in-laws were so greedy that they started demanding dowry from my parents post marriage. I got the first shock when my husband hit me on our honeymoon as my father refused to give any more dowry. I was in a state of shock and didn't know what to do as I never expected this. I stayed quiet hoping that things will get better with time. But it didn't, it only got worse. It became a habit for my husband to physically assault me and verbally abuse me in front of his entire family. I kept quiet hoping that things will improve and he will feel guilty for his deeds.

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My in-laws were aware of these things but never supported me. They blackmailed and threatened me to keep it to myself and not disclose anything to my parents. I was forced to apologise to their son even when it wasn’t my fault. I did everything to save this marriage and bear all humiliation from them but it went all in vain. They tried their best to make me quit my job and take me to their house as they needed a full-time servant. I lost courage to speak up. All these incidents killed my self-respect and confidence. I was scared to go home after office thinking what reason will my husband find to beat me today.

One day, I came to know that my husband and mother in-law are planning to abduct me and take me to their house in Moradabad and keep me there for 6 months so I could learn household chores. I ran away to my parents' place and told them about my suffering. Their world shattered when they saw that the daughter they had brought up with so much love and affection was going through all this.

Family members from both sides came together and tried to explain to my husband that he was wrong. I was not willing to go back to him. He again made false promises and convinced us that he will not hurt me anymore. I again fell prey to his lies. This time, he tortured me even more. I could barely say anything. My husband and my in-laws never allowed me to call my parents or meet them. We stayed in the same city and for six months, I could not visit them.

They forced me to start a family as they thought that my husband will improve and become a little responsible with a baby in the picture. I was totally against this, but my husband forced himself on me and I got pregnant. I now had a new hope to save this dying relationship and failed marriage. I gave birth to a baby boy. He brought immense happiness to my life. I hoped that my married life will improve as my husband loves kids and will love his own child. Sadly, nothing changed. No one loved my child as he was born to me. 

I have decided to get separated from my husband now as I don't want my child to suffer the way I did. Today, I am shattered and broken but trying to come up again in life fighting against all odds.

Life served me a platter of things, which I never signed up for. With love and support from my parents, I am working to create a beautiful world of my own for my baby. I have a huge responsibility to raise a son. I will teach him to respect women and never let him become like his father.