I Love My Parents But I Wish They Gave Me The Freedom To Take My Own Decisions

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 29 May, 2018

I am a very simple girl. I am not very attractive but I am good in studies. I am a frank person by nature. Unfortunately, I did not get a seat in medicine so I had to do B.Sc. I didn't like the university that I had to study in. It was a small town and the people had a completely different mindset here. I found it difficult to adapt here because I had done my schooling in Secunderabad.

The first year was pretty monotonous. I just attended the lectures and couldn’t do anything else. But the second year turned out to be entirely different.

I started cracking jokes. I also started talking with the boys of my class.
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Actually, we were a small class of 7 students who had opted for this particular combination of subjects.

One day, one of my batch mates proposed to me. It was my birthday that day. I knew it didn’t mean much to him. He was just taking a chance to see if I would accept his proposal. I refused.

He now created a lot of drama. He gave me a letter and I was really scared to open it. I didn’t know what to do with it. I don’t know what came over me but I just decided to start my Scooty and go out. I reached another department and asked one of my classmates to help me out. This classmate of mine had a different optional subject. 

He helped me work my way out of all the mess that I had created for myself. I wondered why I had thought of going to him.
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I had never talked with him during my first year.

Once again I don’t know what came over me but I proposed to him and said, “I love you” to him in front of my batch mates the very next day. But he replied rudely. He said, “I’ll think about it.” I was really shocked by his reply and my own impulsive behaviour.

I knew I watched him secretly when we were in the Chemistry lab. He would stand at the back of the lab and I would stand in the front row. I was under the impression that he was already committed to a girl who was always around him. He was a part of a group of 6-7 friends.

We started talking to each other after I proposed to him. He told me he felt shy to talk to me but he felt very comfortable when he talked to other girls.

I wondered if we would ever get to talk to each other personally.
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It was such a big university but there was no place for us to sit and talk to each other in private. One day he asked me if I would be willing to go out with him to watch a movie. I agreed. I realized that he was actually testing me. He told me about it later on. He deliberately bought only one cold drink because he wanted to check whether I minded sharing the drink with him. He wanted to see if would agree to go out with him – that is why he had invited me to watch a movie with him.

I remembered how I had refused to go out with that other classmate of mine who had proposed to me on my birthday. I was glad this guy had not refused my proposal.

He told me that he liked me before the interval of the movie. I just asked him, “Mazak to nahee kar raha hai? Are you serious?” He told me he was not joking. We now started having a great time together.

We started loving each other more deeply with each passing day.

Things were going on perfectly in my life. I had a good academic record. I got decent pocket money. I had a new Scooty with me and a great boyfriend to hang out with.

Everyone knew about us because he was quite popular with the girls.
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But one day my so-called best friend ruined everything. She told my parents and other relatives about our relationship. My life changed completely after this. I was not allowed to go out anywhere. I had no access to a mobile. I wondered why my parents were doing such things to me. She would call my father and give him updates about what I was doing in college every day.

My parents scolded me and beat me up because the boy I had fallen in love with belonged to a different caste.

I passed my B.Sc with a good CGPA but due to all these distractions in my life, I could not clear the entrance exam of another university. So I moved to Bhopal to do my B.Ed. He moved to Benaras to pursue his higher studies.

I spent two whole years crying for him. I yearned for his company. We managed to maintain our relationship despite being in different cities and facing a different set of challenges.

My parents thought that we had separated. They did not know that I still kept in touch with him. Both of us are working in different cities now.

My parents are worried and scared for me. They wonder what I will do next. They think I may leave them and go to that guy. They are worried about the answers that they will have to give to the people of our society. I just want to tell them one thing. “Agar mujhe bhagna hota to me kabki bhag chuki hoti.”

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Sometimes I really don’t understand the problem. I am still their daughter. They still love me but I am no longer in their good books because I am making my own choices in my life.

“Agar aap hamare rishte ko accept karoge to me kyu bhagungi?” I have been waiting for the last six years for them to accept my love. I know mummyji and pappaji will agree to get us married someday.

Editor's Note:

Let’s share this story and learn to talk openly with our loved ones. Let’s understand things from each other’s perspective. Often we don’t even know if we are making the right choices in our lives because we have so many options at our disposal. There can never actually be a ‘right’ or a ‘wrong’ choice in life. But every choice/decision that we make is associated with a consequence. Let’s understand that freedom also involves taking complete responsibility for our decisions.