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I Love My Parents But I Wish They Gave Me The Freedom To Take My Own Decisions

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I am a very simple girl. I am not very attractive but I am good in studies. I am a frank person by nature. Unfortunately, I did not get a seat in medicine so I had to do B.Sc. I didn't like the university that I had to study in. It was a small town and the people had a completely different mindset here. I found it difficult to adapt here because I had done my schooling in Secunderabad.

The first year was pretty monotonous. I just attended the lectures and couldn’t do anything else. But the second year turned out to be entirely different.

I started cracking jokes. I also started talking with the boys of my class.

Actually, we were a small class of 7 students who had opted for this particular combination of subjects.

One day, one of my batch mates proposed to me. It was my birthday that day. I knew it didn’t mean much to him. He was just taking a chance to see if I would accept his proposal. I refused.

He now created a lot of drama. He gave me a letter and I was really scared to open it. I didn’t know what to do with it. I don’t know what came over me but I just decided to start my Scooty and go out. I reached another department and asked one of my classmates to help me out. This classmate of mine had a different optional subject. 

He helped me work my way out of all the mess that I had created for myself. I wondered why I had thought of going to him.

I had never talked with him during my first year.

Once again I don’t know what came over me but I proposed to him and said, “I love you” to him in front of my batch mates the very next day. But he replied rudely. He said, “I’ll think about it.” I was really shocked by his reply and my own impulsive behaviour.

I knew I watched him secretly when we were in the Chemistry lab. He would stand at the back of the lab and I would stand in the front row. I was under the impression that he was already committed to a girl who was always around him. He was a part of a group of 6-7 friends.

We started talking to each other after I proposed to him. He told me he felt shy to talk to me but he felt very comfortable when he talked to other girls.

I wondered if we would ever get to talk to each other personally.

It was such a big university but there was no place for us to sit and talk to each other in private. One day he asked me if I would be willing to go out with him to watch a movie. I agreed. I realized that he was actually testing me. He told me about it later on. He deliberately bought only one cold drink because he wanted to check whether I minded sharing the drink with him. He wanted to see if would agree to go out with him – that is why he had invited me to watch a movie with him.

I remembered how I had refused to go out with that other classmate of mine who had proposed to me on my birthday. I was glad this guy had not refused my proposal.

He told me that he liked me before the interval of the movie. I just asked him, “Mazak to nahee kar raha hai? Are you serious?” He told me he was not joking. We now started having a great time together.

We started loving each other more deeply with each passing day.

Things were going on perfectly in my life. I had a good academic record. I got decent pocket money. I had a new Scooty with me and a great boyfriend to hang out with.

Everyone knew about us because he was quite popular with the girls.

But one day my so-called best friend ruined everything. She told my parents and other relatives about our relationship. My life changed completely after this. I was not allowed to go out anywhere. I had no access to a mobile. I wondered why my parents were doing such things to me. She would call my father and give him updates about what I was doing in college every day.

My parents scolded me and beat me up because the boy I had fallen in love with belonged to a different caste.

I passed my B.Sc with a good CGPA but due to all these distractions in my life, I could not clear the entrance exam of another university. So I moved to Bhopal to do my B.Ed. He moved to Benaras to pursue his higher studies.

I spent two whole years crying for him. I yearned for his company. We managed to maintain our relationship despite being in different cities and facing a different set of challenges.

My parents thought that we had separated. They did not know that I still kept in touch with him. Both of us are working in different cities now.

My parents are worried and scared for me. They wonder what I will do next. They think I may leave them and go to that guy. They are worried about the answers that they will have to give to the people of our society. I just want to tell them one thing. “Agar mujhe bhagna hota to me kabki bhag chuki hoti.”

Sometimes I really don’t understand the problem. I am still their daughter. They still love me but I am no longer in their good books because I am making my own choices in my life.

“Agar aap hamare rishte ko accept karoge to me kyu bhagungi?” I have been waiting for the last six years for them to accept my love. I know mummyji and pappaji will agree to get us married someday.

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