I Had A Love Marriage And Today I Hate My Husband For The Person He's Become

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 30 June, 2017

I had a love marriage and a fairy tale wedding - one that I thought would last forever. I was living my dream and thought I wouldn't want anything more from life. The first few months of my married life passed smoothly. But then, everything started crumbling.

I had always lived on my own terms and had had the space to do whatever I wanted to do in life. But now, after getting married, I had to make sure that I was home on time, I had to ask for permission to go anywhere at all and had to dress up according to my mother-in-law's taste. If some day, I didn't cook well, my mother-in-law made sure to give me an hours' lecture on how I had wasted much food.

My mother-in-law ruled the roost and my father-in-law had no aim in life except to eat and sleep. My mother-in-law started growing even more dominating as days passed and it became extremely difficult for me to keep up with her. Initially I tried to tell myself that I had wanted this married life with my husband and I shouldn't complain about anything. But my husband - the man I tried to accept everything for - he, too changed completely after marriage.

Advertisement
The loving, charming guy I fell in love with became the typical Indian husband who would dance to his parents' tune.

He would come home just to eat and do as he pleased. The guy who could do anything for me earlier was now too shy to even hold my hand.

One night, I decided to tell him about my problems. I almost broke into tears telling him how his mom was being too difficult and how I was finding it hard to cope with her. But he shunned me away by saying that I had to live with his parents and there was no way out of it. There wasn't anything wrong in what he said, except the way he said it made me go silent. It was as if he thought my troubles at his in-laws' were trivial, something that most girls had to go through and deal with.

Time passed on and I suffered in silence for as long as I could. Thank god though, I realized it earlier than most girls do that only I could help myself out of this situation. I realized that there was nothing wrong with me but rather I had compromised too quickly fearing that I may be considered wrong, otherwise.
Author's Note:

I have shared my story for any other girl whom may be suffering the same fate. I urge you to not suffer in silence. Indian society is a patriarchal one, run by men and their mothers, where even if a woman is not physically abused, she is mentally and emotionally tortured. I hope to create awareness about mental torture through my story. I hope people realize that mental torture does not necessarily mean being abused, but also means little things done by others daily that eat in to your soul and change you as a person. Please raise your voice against this. I did and I know if I can, you can too.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because it's important to talk about real issues.