I got married at the age of 25. Although my marriage was arranged by my parents, it was entirely my choice to marry the guy who, I believed, was a perfect match for me.
We spoke for hours and hours and I found out that we shared similar thoughts. I thought my life would be perfect with this guy in my life. I was really happy to marry him; the love of my life.
Our wedding was a beautiful summer wedding, I can't believe it has been 5 years to that day, already. The first year of our marriage brought in so much excitement and passion.
We were trying to understand each other and know each other better. We spent our dreamy honeymoon in Paris. We enjoyed each other's company and walked around hand in hand. He was such a sweetheart. He was someone who stood by me at all times and loved me the way I was.
It was all amazing, until the time his parents started interfering in our lives. (Yes, I was supposed to stay with his parents since he was their only son).
They thought that my husband was too caring and possessive about me and they were very possessive about him.
They just needed me as a reproductive animal. In front of him (even now), they act as if they love me more than their own daughter, and care for me but behind my back, they hate me, curse me and talk about me.
I have heard them talk about me but when I tried confronting them, they lied to me and my husband, saying that they were praising me and I must have heard it wrong and that I was trying to create misunderstandings between them and their son.
In my absence, they try turning my husband against me, by telling him that in spite of caring for me so much, I am not able to meet their expectations, that I don’t care for them and I hate them. They also ask him to not care about my parents and my siblings.
They were constantly forcing him to have kids. By the second year of our marriage, my husband’s thoughts and priorities started changing. He started believing what he was being told and there was nothing I could do. He started neglecting my parents and ignored me.
He lost interest in going out with me and started dominating me. He started pointing out my tiny mistakes. He started shouting at me for small misunderstandings.
Despite everything, I tried to explain the situation to him at home many a times, but all my efforts went in vain. He told me that by no means could he leave his parents for me. Taking care of his parents was his priority. He understood the fact I will get scared and follow his orders if he got aggressive and shouted at me.
By the third year of our marriage, I had lost my best friend in him. Now, I didn't even know him. He was just a husband with whom I didn't share any of my feelings because I knew it was useless to do so.
We had very limited conversations. I felt really lonely and ashamed of myself. We had lost the special bond we had. By the fourth year, we had a beautiful baby. My son is my life, my soul. He brought happiness and joy in our lives, but the situation was no better at home. I was not allowed to go and visit my mother till the time of my delivery and when I was allowed, I was asked to come back by third month itself. After coming back, they started dominating my kid. I was not given an opportunity to take my own decisions. I was not allowed to leave my kid at my mother’s place and I felt miserable.
By the fifth year, I was forced to work since my husband needed financial support from me. But I didn't want to leave my son with his parents. I started and ended my day with tears. I feel extremely awful, lonely and pathetic today.
I would have never got married had I known I would have to face such circumstances. I am finding it extremely difficult to work at office and at home, at the same time.
I don’t know why I still love my husband so much, I think I just hope that everything will be fine one day. These days I am really confused whether I should move on or if I should face this awful life, losing all of my freedom. I hope God gives me the courage to take a decision soon.