I Could Not Marry The Love Of My Life For A Reason I'll Never Understand: Now We're Friends

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 24 May, 2017

"She still smiles like she used to, but he is not the reason anymore." Unlike others, I had a perfect love, a perfect love story.

He was a senior at my new office and we started talking and meeting for official reasons. Since the very first day, I had felt a spark for him even though he was seven years older. Our relationship was not only about love, it was about understanding, care, passion and of course too many promises and many beautiful dreams.

Within 3 months we became inseparable. We knew there was a major caste difference and that it will be a hindrance in the future. However, I was always a firm believer of the fact that love wins and never fades. If you fight for your promises and dreams, you can get it. 

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With every passing day and every beautiful morning I loved him more. I loved him more than he ever knew, more than he could understand, more than I could express and more than he knows it till today. 

From movies to coffee dates, from rainy walks to sunny days, from hogging food to chilling in cafes, we have shared almost everything. We celebrated each other's birthdays like a festival and festivals were a reason to party and celebrate again.

My friends had always said, "you have no idea how much he loves you." We exchanged so many gifts and handmade presents that each and every thing had a story behind it, a reason to smile. I had always pampered him to my best effort, loved him like my own baby.

His parents had accepted me and said YES after two meetings so it was now my turn to convince my family. I took a little longer as my mom could not be easily convinced. Always had a hard and a tough time in convincing her. 
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Months passed. I fought; fought at home so that I could marry him, fought with him so that he never leaves me, with his parents so that they don’t change their mind. I did everything I possibly could.

Finally, our kundlis did not match but I just knew he was the perfect match for me.

Astrologers said he will never marry me but I knew he will never leave me. From doing Mahamritunjay jaaps for him to fasting for 7 days during navratras, from wearing stones to going to shanidev temple every Saturday night, I literally did everything possible.

So finally my mother agreed after 6-7 months. My happiness had no limits. I could see my dreams turning into reality. So now we had to make both the mothers talk to each other and then his mother told my mom clearly that this marriage can't happen because of our stars did not match.

I had decided to meet his parents again and convince them again.
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And when I met them, something happened that shook me from inside. His parents were clear and firm this time with their NO. They clearly said that this marriage cannot happen because our kundlis did not match.

On asking them the reason for stretching things for a year, I got the most amazing answer. “Tum zabardasti kar rahi thi.” I was forcing him and his family to marry me, they said. 

I was left speechless and just had tears rolling from my eyes because even he didn't stand up for me and our love, he was there but had nothing to say. He kept quiet and that killed me. Out of respect I stood up and left rather than fighting and insulting them back.

He dropped me home that day, and I just couldn't stop crying on my way back. We both were silent that day. All I could promise him that day was my presence in his life forever, my support and an everlasting friendship.

I might be a word for him, but he is my entire dictionary. All I think is, "Zaroor uski koi majbooriyaan rahi hongi." I call him my best friend now.

I hope we grow old together and stand with each other through thick and thin. I think he’ll get married soon and I wish him all the happiness in the world. With himself, he took away my ability to love someone again. I still do not know the reason for their NO!