I Am Visually Impaired But I Am Not Blind To The Faults Of The Men Who Rejected Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 14 September, 2018

We all read motivational and inspirational stories. We all admire a few people in our lives. Such people inspire us. But do we ever realize that even our role models have several weaknesses that they need to work upon? Usually, we only look at the positive traits of such people. They seem to have everything that they need in their lives.

But all of us should continue to add some value to our (and other people’s) lives till our dying day.

We also read about dating tips, sex life, marriage etc. People who write blogs on such stuff want to spread awareness about such things in our society. So these kinds of tips and blogs are really helpful. We also read lots of stuff about people who have some kind of disability. When we see how such people take care of their own families, we appreciate our ‘normal’ lives.

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It must be difficult for such writers to relive those moments and then pen them down for us. Yet they do this so that other people can benefit from their experiences.

I too wish to share my experiences with you. I am a woman with impaired vision. I do my best to lead my life as normally as possible. We all get our share of inspiration from people who are physically challenged. But why do we never consider such people good enough to be our life partners?

The men who rejected me were aware of all my other positive aspects yet they rejected me because I am visually impaired.

How would visually impaired guys feel if some girl did the same thing to them? How would you feel if you were rejected just because you were not good looking enough?

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How would you feel if a girl overlooks all your proficiencies and rejects you without even trying to get to know you as a person?

Why do we still get carried away by looks and external beauty even when we know that they are deceptive? Why do we ignore the value of inner beauty? How would you feel if a person does not consider you worthy enough to even speak to you over a phone call? Some girls suffer from medical issues. That does not mean that guys should look at her with pity.

She is not seeking your sympathy. She just wants you to accept her as a human being.

Such questions will surely make all of us squirm with discomfort. But imagine the plight of such differently-abled people. They have been forced to live this kind of a life by fate. They did not have a choice in the matter.

I was fortunate enough to get a decent education. I had to work doubly hard to prove my worth to others. And I was the happiest person on earth when I got a job.  I just immersed myself in my work.

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First of all, I wanted to prove my capabilities to myself and of course the outside world too.

So the thought of ‘settling down in life’ never crossed my mind. I just wanted to become independent first. Also, at that time, I was unaware of my own capabilities. I also wondered if anyone would accept me, a person with impaired vision, as their life partner. It was only when I started getting a fair bit of satisfaction from my professional life that I thought of getting married. The cloud of negative thoughts that had haunted me till then flitted away from my mind.

I was clear about what I wanted in my life. I was confident enough to become someone’s better half now.

Yes, I know and understand that even ‘normal’ girls find it challenging to find a decent guy and vice versa.  Girls are rejected for the weirdest of reasons. Most guys have a clear picture of what they are looking for in their partners.

Are all those guys perfect in every aspect? If they are so perfect, why have they not yet met the girl of their dreams? Why are they still searching for their better halves?

If they ask that ‘perfect girl’ for her opinion, I’m sure she too will find several flaws in these guys. She too may well have a clear picture of what she wants in her future better half. Just like the guy’s family is looking for a ‘perfect bride’ for their son, the girl’s family may also be looking out for a ‘perfect future son-in-law’.

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No one is perfect. And I think that both the guy and the girl should be willing to adapt to each other so that they can face the challenges of their lives together. If they are unwilling to adapt, they should simply discard the idea of getting married in the near future. Maybe they can then reconsider getting married at a later stage of their lives.

After I interacted with a few guys, I could not help wondering about several things. I know I am as good or as ‘normal’ as other girls out there. Like all other girls, I have my fair share of strengths. And I know that one of my weaknesses is my impaired vision. I met guys who were not physically challenged. I also met guys who had impaired vision.

But all these guys had the same attitude towards girls and life.
There must be some good guys out there in the world but I have yet to come across them.

The guys I met were vicious. The guys who were 30+ were still in the process of settling down in their careers. They were not intellectual or smart in any way. They had no aspirations for their future and I found them totally incompatible with my ideas, dreams and vision. They just wanted to get married. They were not even earning a decent income. In fact, I wondered how they could look after a family with such a meagre salary. What kind of a lifestyle did they have in mind when they thought of getting married?

If a girl is incapable of looking after the needs of a family, guys reject her. But why do girls accept a marriage proposal when they know that a guy is incapable of taking care of even the most basic needs of his family?
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I got all kinds of proposals from all kinds of guys. And this is what forced me to think about such things. I then started questioning my own judgement. I wondered if I would be able to lead ‘a happily ever after’ kind of life if I decided to get married.

After thinking deeply about all these incidents, I concluded that I will keep looking out for a decent guy who matches my intellect. I want to spend the rest of my life with a person who understands me mentally and emotionally.

Yes, guys do reject me because they do not consider me ‘suitable enough’ for them. But at such times, I really think that they are the losers, not I.

I may be a girl without sight. But I am not blind. I can visualize the kind of life I want for myself. I am just not able to see it with my eyes. But I have complete confidence in my abilities and I trust my judgement.

So I’d rather wait for the right person and get married to him. I am in no hurry to rush into matrimony now because I don’t want to spend my entire life adapting to a person who does not value me as a person.

Editor's Note:

It takes all kinds of people to make up this world. ‘Rejection’ just reflects another person’s thoughts about us. It shows their inability to see our true worth. Yes, rejection hurts. But ‘rejection’ forces us to have more faith in ourselves and we become more confident as a person. And it proves to be a blessing in disguise because better things are always waiting to happen to us. Let’s share this story and learn to become mentally strong at such times.