Dear Mom, I'm Paying A Price For Trying To Always Keep You Happy

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 12 August, 2017

Dear Mom,

Writing this letter to tell you how I feel right now. I have always told you how I felt about every situation, about everyone. You have always been my best friend and will always be, till I die. Even if you are not with me I always think about your happiness before taking any step in my life. If I liked a guy I always thought if you are going to like him, if not, I did not proceed.

For me, it has always been about your happiness. But now I’m paying the price for that.

I loved a guy a lot but I cannot be with him because you would not have liked it. You like him I know, but you don’t like his religion. I know you have suffered a lot because of my elder sister. She got married in another religion and you are ashamed of her and you had to hear so much from the society because of her. I never wanted that to happen to you again. I never wanted you to hate me. So I left him, yes I did, I loved him so much but I left him because of you. I could not tell anybody about my pain, not even to you. You never got to know that I loved someone, or maybe you knew and chose to ignore and pretend he was just my friend.

Advertisement

I left him alone suffering because of me, missing me every single day and cursing me for breaking his heart. But I had to, because I can’t see you unhappy maa, I love you more than anyone in this world.

I moved on. I don’t know if he has, I don’t think he has but I wish he had. I fell for another guy because he'll perfect as your son-in-law. There won’t be any problem from your side for sure.

But now there is a problem from his side. You know right how it is - what goes around, comes around. I will have the same fate as my ex-lover. Now this guy will leave me for his mother, for his family.

He says he loves me but he cannot marry me if his mother does not agree. See maa, who says people don’t love their parents. There is so much love for our parents in our hearts. We break our hearts to make you all happy.

Advertisement

You think we will be happy if we get married to someone of your choice, but is it true? I would like to figure that out. So I’ll agree to get married to someone you choose for me. An arranged marriage that I never wanted to go for. I hate arranged marriages and I don’t think it will be easy for me to fall in love now. I can only compromise. But I cannot tell you this either.

I have paid a price for my karma and so will everyone else.

Your grateful daughter.