Being With Him Meant The World To Him Until His Marriage Came In The Way

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 27 November, 2017

Is being gay a crime? If not, then why I was mentality harassed by him? Well, we met at our workplace. I fell for him when I saw him for the first time, during our interview day. He was a real man with a muscular body and sharp features. Eventually, we became good friends.

I never confessed my feelings to him, because I was scared to came out of the closet. We would have lunch together, hang out and talk for hours.

I started giving him indications by using double meaning phrases and touching him here and there. I knew he was somehow getting my point, but we never talked about it openly. Things were going smoothly, and we were spending quality time with each other. Once, he called me at night and asked me to visit a hospital in my area, as he was there with a patient.

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We were talking there below the open sky. I held his hand and put my head on his shoulder. It was the most beautiful moment of my life, then we went downstairs and walked on the road. Because of winter, a few vehicles were parked there. So, we sat on a nearby bench, on the road side and he smooched me right there.

I felt very special but guilty, too. I was guilty because I thought that this would ruin our friendship, but he said that it was okay. Then, I developed a strong feeling of love for him. After 9 months of that first kiss, we were in the same bed. He tried to make out with me, but he couldn’t because I didn't support him. The reason that held me back, was the same, I was thinking that this will destroy our friendship. After this incident, I began ignoring him and his confidence level started going down. I felt bad and tried acting normal again. Then I injured my leg, in an accident, and I became emotionally weak. He was with me on my bed and again he was trying to make out.

But this time, I let him do it, because I was in love with him. I was on the seventh heaven, because I had found my love.

After this, we made out 2 more times. But during this period, I felt that he had started ignoring me, he would feel shy to introduce me to his known people. Things started going wrong when he started making fun of me, and bullying me and then the worst part started. He would fight with me, yell at me and he even beat me badly once. But I was making a fool of myself, thinking that he is disturbed, and therefore he's doing such things. Because he loves me a lot, or so I thought at least.

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I asked him why he's behaving this way with me. The answer I received, was shocking. He said that he is married, since 7 years and he loves his wife. He said that he did all this only for my sake, only to make me happy.

This continued for nine months and I went into extreme depression. At last, he started telling people things like, I'm a gay and I make out with guys. Lots of rumours about me and my family were spread. It was heartbreaking for me, to see a person whom I trusted more than myself, behave this way with me. I realized my mistake.

Author's Note:

And now I don't like to even think about him. Somewhere deep inside my heart, I am feeling bad for myself. Why did I waste three precious years of my life, after him? Why did he do this with me? What was my fault? Is being gay a crime? If not, then why did I suffer? And if yes, then what is my fault? Is sexual orientation a choice we’re given, or does it come naturally? He left me with all these answered questions.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because nobody should feel as if their existence is illegitimate.