This Is Why I Am Hopelessly Ashamed Of Being In Love With This Song

Sanjana Chakrabrty Sanjana Chakrabrty in The Golden Bird on 7 July, 2017

“Yeh Mera Deewanapan Hai
Ya Mohabbat Ka Suroor
Tu Na Pehchaane To Hai Yeh
Teri Nazron Ka Kusoor
Yeh Mera Deewanapan”

There is a reason why I have quoted this. It is one of my favourite songs and I hum it at least once a day. Yet, there is something so dark and devastating hidden in it that I’m ashamed to even say that it is there on my list.

Today was another balmy day, with me getting bored witless in office, crooning this song in its full glory. I fancy myself to have a croon-worthy voice. I feel happy when I’m not off-key and love listening to the sound of my voice. This song almost makes me swoon- with its mellifluous lyrics and the way Miss Raman carried it off.

While I’m no Miss Raman, this touches my soul. As I was singing, I carefully concentrated on two particular sections and to my horror, its meaning disturbed me greatly.

India can be referred to as the land of romantics with people like Heer-Ranjha and Soni-Mahiwal given immortal status. Heck, we praise Shah Jahan for his immemorial creation, the Taj Mahal. Unfortunately, India is also where violence and love go hand in hand- Shah Jahan “Bezek”-ed the masons to prevent them from recreating his magnum opus. The number of love crimes increases day by day. One can say that it is ingrained in our culture- you shouldn’t refuse the one who professes love for you. It’s an unsaid rule that gives rise to stalkers, jilted lovers, rapists and so on.

Initially, this was said to be restricted to gender - irked young men would rape, murder, throw acid when faced with rejection. But now, even the fairer sex resorts to lying, blackmailing and kidnapping to bag their beloved. And this has been promoted in our popular culture through movies like “Badrinath ki Dulhania” and songs like “apun bola”.

While the senior generation would say that the current crop of composers and movie makers resort to such filth, corrupting the fresh minds of youth - I beg to differ. This song proves rightly, that love crimes and blaming the jilter, is an age old process.


“Tu Na Pehchaane To Hai Yeh
Teri Nazron Ka Kusoor”

This clearly implies that if one chooses not to pay heed to the love being showered upon him/her, it is solely his fault. Such darkness being emulated in such beauty! But it doesn’t stop here- there is more.

“Dil Ko Teri Hi Tamanna
Dil Ko Hai Tujhse Hi Pyar
Chaahe Tu Aaye Na Aaye
Hum Karenge Intezaar
Aise Veerane Mein Ek Din
Ghut Ke Mar Jayenge Hum
Jitna Ji Chaahe Pukaro
Phir Nahin Aayenge Hum”

These lines clearly reveal the extent to which lovers try to “convince” their beloved. And this, coming from a 1958 movie! You must be thinking that I am one of those snowflakes, jumping into inconsequential “bra-burning” over harmless lyrics. But as a victim of such blackmails and other abuse-in-the-guise–of-love, this is disturbing for me.

Our society is known to overlook such digressions in the name of love. “Paar who toh tereko pyaar karta hai, itna toh haq hai jataneka” - NO. Love is about acceptance and freedom. Ownership is NOT LOVE. YOU DO NOT OWN THE PERSON YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH. You cannot force someone to be in love with you- something that takes a while for Indians to process. And with such songs and stories enmesh deep in our psyche, it will take longer than usual.

Although this song will remain one of my favourites, the connotations of it will continue to haunt me. As a daughter, sister and human being, I can’t forgive myself for loving such songs. I have let myself down.
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