I crave for your love and care. I get jealous when you flirt with other girls. I know you are not a part of my life anymore, but I cannot keep myself from imagining, how beautiful my life could have been with you. I still regret the day I lost you completely. Whom should I blame for this? Should I blame you for not expressing your love until my wedding got fixed? Should I blame myself that I did not gather enough courage to talk about you to my parents?

I remember the day you said to me "Come let’s get married, do not think about the society nor our families, I'll convince your family", but it was too late by then.

Fifteen days were remaining for my wedding when you brought this proposal to me. I still question God, why me? There is no day that I do not think about you. All of it started when we used to hate each other and slowly became good friends, then good friends to best friends. You cried like a baby when I left our hometown to work in some other city. But I never knew that the tears rolling out of your eyes were due to love.

I was under the assumption that you are too emotional, and unlike my other best friends, you burst into tears, because I was leaving you all.

Slowly, our small conversations turned into lengthy ones. From WhatsApp messages to Video calls, I never felt that I was away from my hometown and friends. You gave me all the warmth, love and care, unconditionally. You always knew I’m a very practical girl with no emotional side. But still, you kept me on top priority despite knowing the fact that you'll not gain anything out of it.

You never hesitated to commute long distances when I was need of emotional support. You always strived hard to make me smile all time.

I always felt secure and happy around you. You pampered me more than anyone, even more than my parents. You understood what I was going through without me saying even a single word. With just one "Hello" over the call, you could tell whether I was okay or not. With my tone on WhatsApp messages, you could tell if I was crying or sad or happy. No one in this world can understand me better than you.

I sometimes wonder how you manage to be so selfless?

You have taught me how to love without conditions. You taught me how much pleasure it gives us when we make our loved ones happy. You were there by my side in all the up's and down's, you smiled when I smiled and when I was sad, you would cry. Your love is as pure as a mother's love, and God's prayer.

I just have one complaint, why didn’t you try earlier? Why didn’t you express your feelings until it was too late?

You proposed me when my hands were tied. I could not do anything and just had to let you go away from my life. I see you daily suffering from pain. I see that you are lost from the day I got married. I’m helpless, I’m unable to free you from the pain. I gave you 100 examples of why you should move on. But all my so-called "bhashan" and lectures went in vain. You are still the same. Your love and care towards me is still the same. Even today, you crave for my smile, you check on my wellbeing, you check if I’ve eaten or not, if I’ve reached home safely or not, you still get upset when you see that I’m not normal. How can you be like this? How can you still love me the same way you did, even though you know I can't be yours? When I ask you this question, you just say that's love and for you, I am more important than anyone in this world.

Sometimes my throat gets heavy from suppressing tears, when I see you loving me so much and suffering with pain.

You say that you have lost everything in this world and there is no reason for you to be happy. What do I do? How can I bring you out of this situation? I'm just praying to God that he gives you enough strength to come out of this pain and agony. I just want you to stay happy. I'm craving to see you smile again wholeheartedly. It’s been ages since you smiled out of the heart. I want you to move on and be normal. These are not robotic expectations like you say. I know it’s difficult, but you have to come out. I just pray that you find someone who should love you the way you loved me.

Until now, you just gave off yourself, but I hope that from now on you get in return the same sort of love, care and affection that you showered on me. All I want to say is "Stay Happy".

You were the most precious thing in my life, I lost you and I regret that. I haven't told you this one thing yet, but I want to say it now, I love you and I feel blessed that I met you. I can never ever forget you nor can anyone ever take your place in my life. You will always remain locked in the bottom of my heart and I will keep praying for your happiness and well-being.

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