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We've Been Together For Seven Beautiful Years, But Marriage Isn't An Option For Her

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Before you begin reading this, I ask that you don’t judge me. But instead, share your perceptions of the situation that I have faced. I’m 25 years old, a lawyer and have recently shifted to Delhi for litigation. I stay away from home because I’m ambitious and focused.

However, this story has another beginning.

In 2009, when I began pursuing my senior secondary schooling in Jodhpur, I missed everything about my home. My family, my friends... everything that was familiar.

Here, it took me a few months to get a good circle of friends. There was this one girl in my class, we never spoke, but she was nice- carefree and a happy-go-lucky person.

One day, for our geography class, we were taken out for a project. And for some reason, that day, my eyes would not look away from her. During the entire hour and a half class, I would find myself gazing at her.

Our geography professor wasn’t a very kind soul and was a little too strict for anyone’s liking. From our class of 11, we ended up being the only two who hadn’t yet finished the assigned work. Oddly, this made me happy on the inside.

Suddenly, I heard the professor shouting at her for something. I looked up immediately and saw that she was looking down, continuously as he yelled at her. Two small teardrops fell on to her notebook. She realized I was looking at her and turned her face quickly.

Finally, we finished our work and she immediately went out to the open garden below. I couldn’t believe my own two feet as they began following her.

“Hey, are you okay?” was all that I could muster.

She turned back and all I could do was stare unblinkingly into her beautiful big eyes. She replied that she was and then since I couldn’t say a word after, she walked away to her next class.

That whole day, my mind couldn’t concentrate on anything but her. The next day, I decided that I would have a long conversation with her. At that time, I didn’t know this tiny encounter of ours would lead to something that would change my life forever.

Slowly, our friendship began to grow. We exchanged numbers soon enough and we began texting continuously. Days passed by, and our bond only grew stronger and better. We even started going for our tuitions together.

One night, I was out with my friends and got extremely drunk. My phone was in my pocket and the next day, when I woke up I saw that I had 44 missed calls and 38 messages from her. Her concern showed up in all those messages.

The next day, she wasn’t in class. I waited for her, near the stairs, where we would usually meet at the beginning or end of our school day. But she didn’t stop and coldly passed me by.

I was shattered. I knew I had made a mistake and that I should have texted her once during that time, but she wasn’t giving me a chance to explain anything to her. During our break, everyone went out for lunch, except the two of us. I walked over to her desk and asked her why she was ignoring me.

She turned to me with tears in her eyes. I was silenced.

We spoke about where I was and why I didn’t call her. I apologized profusely but more than all of this, I realized something else about her that day. That she cared about me.

That night, I decided to text her and tell her what I felt about her. I told her that I wanted to be with her and that I wanted us to be a couple. She told me that she needed some time to answer. I agreed, obviously. After almost a month, she came and told me that she was ready to be with me.

But this too was short-lived. She told me that she could be with me, but there can’t be any future to our relationship and that marriage was something that she couldn’t think of. I had no reaction to this, and being a naïve boy, excited about his very first relationship, I agreed.

This period was the happiest one of my life. We met every day after school, I went over to her place for projects or assignments, met her family too. We would exchange secret kisses as we pretended to study… it was beautiful. Soon, however, our school life was about to come to an end.

Neither of us had a good feeling that day, we knew what was ahead of us. While we were excited about entering college, we were also upset about leaving school and all these wonderful memories behind.

We decided to stay in the same town so that even though we were in different colleges, we could still meet and stay together. Next thing I know, we both got admission in the same college! We were ecstatic! College was excellent, and even more so because we had each other. We were almost addicted to each other.

Months and years passed us by, but our bond only grew stronger and stronger. We faced all that life had in store for us, together. For the past seven years, not a single day has passed us by, when we haven’t met or kissed each other. Even during the worst of fights, we’ve found a way back to each other.

Our friends tease us that we behave like a married couple, while I laugh and joke about it with her and with them, I can’t help but hear those words she told me, all those years ago and wonder, when the time comes, will she really say 'no' to taking our relationship to the next level?

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