We Did Move On With Our Lives But I Now Regret That One Thing That We Often Did

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 2 August, 2018

I belong to a very poor family. I went to school by the local bus every day when I was in 12th standard. When I saw other girls going to school on their boyfriends’ bikes every day, I too wished I had a girlfriend. I knew I was not very handsome but I yearned for a girl to sit behind me on my own bike. I too wanted to go on long drives with my girlfriend.

I knew my dreams would never come true so I just continued to live my life.

One fine day, the girl who lived next to our house started smiling at me. I hesitated and wondered if she was genuinely smiling at me.

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I thought I was imagining things.

After a few days, I proposed to her in a filmy style. I said, "I love you. Meet me upstairs if you too love me. I will be waiting for you. If you really love me show it to me by wearing a black dress.” She said she needed time. I immediately said, “I don’t have time. You have been looking at me for a long time now. I want your reply today itself.” She then asked me to give her time until the evening. I said, “OK.”

I knew she was just a school going, girl. She was in her 9th standard at that time. When I proposed to her I told her not to tell anything about us to our families. She had three brothers and I was scared of them. I also knew that my younger sister was her best friend. She spent most of her time with my family than with her own family.

I did not want anything to spoil our love filled relationship.
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So I waited for her on the terrace. I was excited and wanted to know if she would really wear a black dress. But I was disappointed when she came in a yellow dress. I felt really depressed and wondered if she really had any feelings for me. She was feeling very shy and said, “I don’t have a black outfit.”

When she revealed the truth to me I felt I was the happiest person on earth.

I thought she was a pretty and innocent girl who had a good heart. She was tall and looked glamorous.  We started chatting on the very first day itself. We also went on long drives.

I felt all my dreams were coming true. It was as if there were no barriers between us.

We enjoyed our romantic conversations and started thinking of getting physically intimate too.  It was not very difficult for us to have fun physically and emotionally too. We made full use of every chance that we got.

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In time, we realized that we had fallen deeply in love with each other.

Soon, it was time for my sister to get married. Unfortunately, we started facing problems after this. We had borrowed money from a lot of people for the wedding and the financial burden was becoming very difficult to bear now. We finally had to vacate our rented house too.

Even under these adverse conditions, she continued to love me with all her heart. We shared a normal relationship all through this phase.

We had been together for five years now. Her parents had asked her to discontinue her studies after she finished her 11th standard. They had now started looking out for her. They wanted her to get married. She rejected a lot of proposals on some pretext or the other.

But when her parents started blackmailing her emotionally, she told them about our relationship.

Her parents did not agree to our match because we were not yet financially stable. They did not have any other objection about me. She really tried to convince them but they refused to listen to her. Her marriage was finally fixed. Two days before she was to get married, she came to me. She said she wanted to marry me.

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But our financial situation had worsened now. I had to take care of my family and support them financially and morally too. All of us were feeling very guilty about money that we had borrowed from others. I told her all about it.  I also told her that my parents were very particular about caste. I was earning just about 7k every month at that time.

I knew it was very difficult to take care of a family with this kind of an income. I was not highly educated too. In fact, I was not even a graduate. So there was no scope of me earning a great salary that would meet all our needs.

I gave her all these reasons and convinced her to get married to the boy that her parents had selected for her. She refused but I was able to make her see reason with my words. She finally agreed to get married but she had a lot of tears in her eyes. I too was feeling very sad and I too cried on that day.

I had not cried like this for anyone or anything before.

She finally got married. She is blessed with two children now. She now calls me on my birthday and on all other important occasions.

The only thing I regret about our relationship is that we had a physical relationship before our marriage.
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But at that time we had no intentions of parting ways. I too am engaged to another girl now. She is mature enough to understand my past. I have already explained everything to her. She trusts me a lot and knows that I will not repeat the same mistake again.

By God’s grace, all will be well in all our lives now. I am waiting to get married to this beautiful woman who understands me completely.
Editor's Note:

Sometimes we simply have to go with the flow. Not all things in our lives will always work out in our favour. So we often forced to make extremely tough compromises/sacrifices. But one thing is always in our control. We should never allow such experiences to make us bitter. Let’s share this story because this practical man knows how to let go of a precious relationship in a dignified and sensible manner. That is what we all have to learn from him.