We Couldn't Be Together Because He Was My Professor, Now Life Has Given Us A Second Chance

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 19 October, 2018

My life was always filled with love and happiness. But time changes everything. After completing class 12, I was extremely excited about joining degree college.

I couldn’t have been happier as my close friends were joining the same college.

It was my first day of college. When I entered the college gate, I noticed a guy passing by. He was well-dressed, smart and extremely handsome. I turned to look at him but he disappeared within seconds. I walked ahead and saw my friends waiting for me.

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We started walking towards our classroom. We entered the class and occupied the vacant first bench. Though it was the first day of college, the class was very noisy because most of us had made many friends.

After 10-15 minutes, someone entered the class. I looked at him and realized that it was the same guy whom I’d seen near the gate. I was excited, as I thought he was my classmate. Everyone thought the same because he looked very young.

My dreams were shattered when he stood in front of the entire class and introduced himself as our Economics lecturer.

His name was Xavier (name changed) and he was an alumnus of the same college. Our entire class developed an instant liking towards him. That evening, I couldn’t stop thinking about him even after reaching home.

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A week later, I decided to share my feelings with my friends. When I told them that I was attracted to him, they asked me if it was love.

I wasn’t sure if it was love but I knew that I’d fallen for him even before he entered our classroom.

Two of my friends suggested that I stop thinking about him because he was our lecturer and it was wrong to have such feelings for him. However, one of my friends stood by my side.

She believed that there was no right or wrong in matters of the heart.

Days passed by and I ensured that I didn’t miss a single Economics class. He’d make every class interesting but all I did was admire him, his smile, his style of walking, his dressing and at times his mild anger too.

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I’d be desperate to hear him call out my name.

The first year of college went by and it was time for my summer holidays. The two months away from him were hell for me. When the college reopened, I was the happiest person. I entered college and went looking for him. I saw him walking out of the staff room and ran toward him. I wished him "Good Morning" and he asked me about my holidays.

I replied, “My holidays were boring without you and your lecture, Sir.” He laughed and walked away. Blushing, I walked towards my classroom. I was disappointed to learn that he was not teaching us Economics in the second year. But I made sure that I spoke to him every day. Half the year went by and I decided to tell him about my feelings. My friend encouraged me.

One afternoon, I waited for him to come out of the staff room. When he saw me, he noticed that something was amiss. He asked, “Why do you look so nervous?” I had no courage to face him.

“Sir, I love you," I said without meeting his eyes.

He was shocked. He said, “Are you out of your senses? Have you forgotten that you are talking to your lecturer? I was prepared for this reaction. I replied, “Sir, I started liking you even before I got to know that you are my teacher.”

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He walked away without saying a word. That night, I couldn’t sleep a wink. But I was not ready to give up. The next day, I waited for him till late evening. When I finally saw him, I ran to him. He looked at me and said, “Let's not talk in college. I will meet you outside.”

We went to a juice shop and before I could say anything, he started talking. “This will not work Manasa (name changed). You are my favorite student.”

“But a lecturer marrying his own student will be the biggest black mark on my career.”

“There is a huge age gap between us. This will surely not work. I want you to concentrate on your studies and stop thinking about these things.” I looked into his eyes with determination.

“Sir, if being your student is stopping you from loving me then I’m willing to quit my studies.”

He was furious. “Manasa, you are testing my patience! Throw everything out of your mind and focus on your studies,” he said and walked out. I was disappointed yet I did not lose hope.

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Despite everything, his behaviour towards me did not change. Whenever we crossed paths in college, he behaved normally with me. I decided that I would talk to him again after completing my graduation.

I completed my 2nd year and survived the dreadful summer holidays. The 3rd year had me immersed in his thoughts. I was eager to complete my graduation and approach him once again. On the day of our graduation, all the guys in our class hugged him and so did a few girls.

When I gave him a hug, I was surprised to see his eyes well up with tears.

Before I could say anything, he walked away. Looking at the tears in his eyes made me cry too. That day, everyone walked out of the college with a heavy heart. I called him the very next day after graduation. However, he asked me not to think about anything until I’d finished my studies.

His words encouraged me and I prepared well for my exams. After the last exam, I called him on his cell and requested him to meet me. He agreed and we met in the same juice shop. I proposed to him again.

I could see the sadness in his eyes as he said, “You are a beautiful young girl, and you have so much to see in your life. I agree that I like you but I can't marry you because you are my student.”

He also said that his marriage had already been finalized. I was broken. A tear rolled down my cheek. He requested me to forget everything and go home. When I remained silent, he said, “Fine, I’m leaving.” He got up and took two steps. Then he turned towards me and said, “Sorry.” I looked at his face and noticed tears in his eyes again.

After that day, I stopped contacting him but I found out that he was happily married with two kids. It’s been more than 12 years since I completed my graduation.

Though my family kept pressuring me to get married, I made excuses because I couldn't forget my sir.

I turned 33 this year and my family gave me an ultimatum. My friends convinced me to say yes for my family's happiness and I agreed. My family finalized an alliance for me and we got engaged a month back.

However, two weeks after my engagement, I got to know that Xavier sir lost his wife to cancer. I was saddened to the core. But I'm also very confused. I feel that God has given me a second chance in life.

I want to be his wife and a mother to his kids rather than marrying someone whom I have no feelings for.

I am planning to call off my engagement and tell Xavier sir about my feelings, which haven't changed over the years. I truly feel that he was also in love with me and the only reason he avoided me was that I was his student. But it's been so many years now and I really hope that he accepts me.

Am I making the right decision?

Editor's Note:

It's not often that life gives you a second chance. So, when you get a second chance at love, should you take it or move on? Let's share this story and help this writer make the right decision in choosing the love and happiness she deserves.