Read the previous part here: I Knew I Loved Him But I Had To Keep Refusing To Meet Him
It was 11th January, I was not keeping well. I was suffering from severe acid reflux. Moreover, I reached Kolkata after that morning itself after a weeklong trip. I was lying on the bed, crying because of the excruciating pain in my food pipe. No medication was helping me, and I was thinking of getting hospitalized. It was around 11 pm. My phone rang. It was Nik. I was shocked. I realized that it was his birthday. I answered the call. He said, "P, I know I am sounding crazy, but can we meet now?" I didn't answer his question, and I said, "I am a mess right now, suffering from severe acid reflux symptoms."
He said, "I am coming to your place. Get ready and I will get you to the hospital."
He reached my place around 12:30 am. He took me to his hospital and it didn't take more than a few tablespoons of some gel and a few tablets to make me feel better and relieve me of my miseries. He took me to his place. I finally wished him a very happy birthday. He said, "I never thought I would spend my birthday with you." I said, "well, you are. I am here." He kissed me slowly and I just melted like butter.
We danced, we laughed and made passionate love that night. I just wished that night had lasted forever. He held me tight throughout the night and kept me warm while I watched him sleep.
The next day, Nik asked me if I wanted to go on a road trip with him. I didn't confirm then but secretly wished that we go. It was a week from his birthday, Nik asked me if I got my menstruation and I realized, I have missed. He asked me to get a UPT done. While restlessly waiting for the UPT result I thought, what are we doing to each other? We have no future together.
I should stop talking to him and let this end this on a good note. The UPT results came negative, it was such a relief. I spoke to Nik and very politely asked him to stop speaking to me and proposed to end this on a very positive note.
I was feeling no remorse and was not scared of losing him anymore. I knew that we love each other and that what we have is a great blessing. All I wanted was his happiness and my peace of mind. He agreed and for the last time (not really) we said our goodbyes. A few days passed, and I was yet to get my periods. I spoke to my gynaecologist who happens to be my best friend. He asked me to take the UPT again. It came positive. I freaked out. I told my gynaecologist and he suggested me to fly back to my hometown immediately. I chose not to tell Nik about the same but my gynaecologist friend suggested that Nik had a right to know about my pregnancy. I didn't agree at first because I really didn't want to cause him any more distress, he was already in a lot of distress because of his marriage preparations.
Then, it occurred to me that he might want the child. I just lost it. I had never felt so helpless in my entire life. I could not withstand the inner turmoil anymore. I told Nik.
He freaked out too. He immediately came to my place. I could not look into his eyes. He told me that as he is getting married, we cannot keep the child. Moreover, I was not ready to have a baby, my career was at stake. So with a heavy heart, I took the abortion pill. Nik stood beside me throughout those dreadful hours when I was bleeding and going through excruciating cramps.
He was constantly monitoring my health. I really respect him more now. I admire his courage.
It has been a few weeks now, we do not speak to each other. We do not text. He stopped checking my WhatsApp statuses too. I guess he is all ready to start a new journey. I hope I will be ready soon. I am yet to understand, why did we meet? Despite having this amazing chemistry, immense love and admiration for each other, why could we not be together? Every morning I wake up thinking about him, and every night I close my eyes hoping that he had a good day.
On every Tuesday and Friday, I pray that he gets to rest a little because those are outdoor patient duty days. And today as I am penning down my feelings, I wish he misses me a little less than yesterday. I fail to understand the Divine's conspiracy.
I shall live on to love Nik and admire him like always. Next year, he will leave this city and go somewhere else. Hopefully, I too will stop dreaming about meeting him for one last time. 'One last time', never existed in our relationship. None of us said goodbye, I am not sure but-
I do feel someday somehow we will meet again, may be in some parallel universe.