To The Woman Who Regrets Falling In Love With A Married Man: I Have Something To Say To You

Niharika Lal Niharika Lal in Your Story on 21 February, 2017

I read a story posted on  AkkarBakkar, titled, 'I Fell In Love With A Married Man After He Forced Himself On Me: I Regret it'. I read the story and someone has commented on the post that the lady is suffering from Stockholm syndrome. I know that my views could be put up as a comment but I think that wouldn’t be enough. Her story made me write this.

Hey you, it’s sad that you fell for a married man. And it’s unfortunate that the man you loved broke your trust through a lovely emotion called 'love'. And it’s not easy to share what you have discussed on this platform. This will give courage to many women who are silently suffering in their lives.

Truth is your pain is incurable but it has to be left behind, if you can just show a little more courage and think about your needs and priorities. Many comments on your post could make you think that you have committed a sin. At the same time, some people encouraged you to rise from the sufferings and others posted disgusting comments. Many of them guided you in their own way by expressing their anger towards the man or by grieving over your sorrow. Some people took your incident so personally that they compared you to a prostitute or mistress. But don’t bother about them, concentrate on the positive suggestions that could help you out.

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Some people asked you if the story was true, as if it was unbelievable. I'd like to say:

Everyone has a story, some have fairytales and some have nightmares. There is no doubt that we all write our stories. The future of our life depends upon our present. But what's painful is the regret of your past dwelling over your present and future, dear woman.

As per our morals we could guide you in a better way but some people posted such absurd comments that probably made you wonder if humanity still exists. Who are we to point at someone’s dignity? You have suffered from the guilt already!

There are ups and down in everyone's life. Everything is going fine when we are happy, we share our happiness with everyone who are close to us but our flaws …we don’t. We doesn’t share or discuss them because we think about their reactions and the consequence to those reactions. We don’t want to lose our near and dear ones. However, a single sorrow should not spoil your entire life.

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Your past should be a reference point. Learn from it and move on. Your entire life lies in front of you.

It is not necessary to please everyone in our lives. It’s all about priority. If you have a regret just let it go away. Make your daddy proud by setting up goals and fulfilling them. If you fail then try again. Don’t let the buried past bother you each and every time. Try to overcome those feelings.

The good part of your story is that you moved on from his life. You didn’t trouble him or his wife or his children. You distanced yourself from his life and family. That was your step towards forgiving yourself. 

The man is happily married and when you see him with his family, you get memories. There is a necessity to fade out those memories from your mind and heart. When feelings of your heart overcome your brain then it only invites miseries. If you had accepted his proposal at the time then what would've happened to your career and your father’s expectations? You were not even at a marriageable age at the time.

You never know, you could have been suffering from physical and mental abuse, in that case you'd have another more horrible story to tell — "Marrying him is deepest regret of my life". The best part about your story is that you moved on from his life. Your soul has an inner conscience that pushed you to move on and you should be glad. Regrets are deemed to be felt but they should not be the standard. You acknowledged the things on time. Leave the rest to God.

May be somewhere, a good man who has been waiting for you is reading this, who could heal your wounds so perfectly that you wouldn't think about your past anymore.
Author's Note:

AkkarBakkar, I appreciate that you have given a platform to many men and women who just confine their feelings to themselves and the secret lies within their soul. Through your platform they can write what they feel, trusting that you with their identities and stories.

Editor's Note:

The point is to start a discussion and support what you really stand for. Not too often do we get such kind replies for our stories. The author is right, it takes a lot of courage to come to such a platform and tell your story to the world expecting the worst in return. Please share this story to appreciate the courage of all those people who are brave enough to share their experiences with a heavy heart to spread awareness.