I am the author of 'To My Spineless Husband: You're Forcing Me To Cheat On You'.
I read all of your comments and opinions and first of all, thank you for reading and sharing my story. I got very good advice from you guys and some criticism too for which I was more than prepared. I knew that it's going to be a tough journey from here on.
Most people blamed me for marrying young and rightly so, because I didn't have a support system. You're right, I wasn't financially independent. But I want to tell you that when I met him, interacted with him, and fell in love with him, he promised me everything I wanted — my higher education, a job, and more.
I fell in love with him and I really thought this could work. So, marrying him was my choice, nobody else's.
The point is, I can come out of this relationship right now if I want. My parents and friends have been asking me to break this relationship but I choose not to. A woman's life is a constant struggle in a male-dominated society and I'm sure you're aware of the fact. We have to keep our heads up and fight nonetheless.
I know that I can find a new partner and make myself happy. But I feel that it is not right. If I walk out of this relationship, my husband will be free to ruin another woman's life. It will be like today it's me and tomorrow it will be someone else. He may find someone else to dominate over, which I won't allow. I want to fight him to set an example.
I will show him his place, will make him pay for all that he'd done to me. Before all that, I'll bring up my son to be a true gentleman. A man who'll be looked up to.
About me cheating on him: it's just a momentary thing I feel. I have said that I think of doing it but that again won't be right. If I become him then what's the difference between me and him? But I'm not sorry for feeling that way! In India, a woman with strong sexual desires is always looked down upon, as if there's something horribly wrong with that feeling.
We too are humans, we too need bodily pleasure. But that want of ours scares males. I don't know why.
I just want to say this — I don't want to look for an easy solution, I don't want to escape, I want to fight him. Yes it's tempting to walk away but it'll setting the wrong precedent. Fight so that others don't squish you. Fight for happiness. And I'll keep fighting till I make my narcissist husband learn a lesson or two. I'm not giving up before that.
Yours truly Xx