My Flatmate And I Left The City Because Of This Guy But I Recorded Everything He Said That Night
I saw your post and I can't explain how good it feels to know that someone is actually there to help and not just stand and watch.
The post gave me enough courage to share with you after much deliberation a black night of my life.Share this quote
Our story is eerily similar to thousands of girls who are trying to make a living in an unknown city, thousands of miles away from home. Fighting the stigmas and shying away from the prying question. My December in Delhi was just there to prove how being a girl is a big punishment in today's world.
How behind the veil of obnoxious equality dreams, we are still nothing.Share this quote
We had just shifted to our house that week and we had a neighbour. A well-educated Mumbaikar working for an international university. Our balconies were very close to each other and it was not difficult to figure out what was happening in the other flat. One of those days we started talking. Normal conversations. Tax savings, Modi — the normal ice breaker.
Everything was fine until we casually mentioned how Delhi was getting unsafe. Stalking and all. He got very angry. He felt that us girls overthink and make a guy's life hell. According to us, he was not the first person to say that and he would not be the last one. So we let it go but the horror unfolded in the night.Share this quote
He misunderstood a simple conversation for an invitation. He broke into the balcony to our room and tried to molest us. We were 2 girls living in the house. One, 19 years old and another, 25. We shouted but nobody hears you in the dead of the night. We kicked him out of the room.
And to our horror we noticed that he had brought his khatiya, his bottle of alcohol and other things in case the girl wanted to do it in the balcony. He could only slur but he made sure he scared us enough.Share this quote
Guy: I'm saying I was seeking an opportunity to talk to you earlier that you did not allow... (mumbling)
Girl: Can you please go away to your place? Why're you standing in my balcony?
Guy: Can we have some more faith? Can we?
Girl: No, we cannot. Go away!
Guy: Can we?
Girl: Go to your balcony, I'm saying. You're standing in my balcony! That's my place, you are disturbing me.
We were too afraid to go out and call someone as we didn't know whether there were other people with him or not. When he realized we can call the police he said, "Who will believe you?" and thank god he said that. We did what we could to save our life and honour in the coming few days so we recorded everything.Share this quote
He didn't even know our names properly. He just wanted the door to be open so he could get what he wanted. He was very sure that it would be that easy for him.
Guy: (singing in the background)
Girl: Go away I'm saying! Can't you understand a simple thing? Just go away.
Guy: Ek second, I'm just trying to figure out your name.
Girl: No, just don't figure out.
Guy: ****** (beep it?)
Girl: Just don't figure it out!
Guy: She's acting so hyper man! Come on yaar, just chill.
Girl: Because I am hyper. Just go away! Please go away.
Guy: Just chill, chill, chill.
Girl: You can be chill with these things, I'm not.
Guy: Just calm down.
Girl: (crying) So f***ing scared dude, just go away from here.
Guy: Arre baba calm down yaar. Calm down.
Girl: Just go away right now! I'll be okay, just don't bother me.
Guy: Don't raise your voice!
We approached people for help but what followed was incessant questioning from people we took our plight to. Was he your friend? You must have been talking to him? Your roommate must have been dating him? Did you drink in front of him? Did your other guy friends come to your flat and he saw that?
You girls never know where to draw the line. We were just two very afraid people. The only thing we wanted was to be left alone and be assured he would not do it again.Share this quote
Guy: ***** hello hello?
Guy: Listen, do you want to talk?
Girl: I don't want to talk.
Guy: If I go back, will you?
Girl: May be.
Guy: Maybe no.
Girl: Okay fine, if you go back. I will talk to you in the morning.
(Guy mumbling in the background)
Girl: If you go back and never come back here again, I will talk to you.
Girl: Now. I'll talk to you but you will never come back! I'm giving you my word, you give me your word. I will talk to you for 2 minutes and you will never come back here.
When one of our friends went to confront him, he told him to maintain personal space and not barge into his house. Human beings should not be treated like this. Obviously, being a girl you are not entitled to human rights.
Dear society, to answer you questions.
Yes, we talked to him and no talking doesn't make him our friend and no even if he is a friend, he cannot break into my room. Consent is a consent. Even if he was a boyfriend, he needed to ask me and not force himself into our house. And drinking or having guy friends doesn't entitle anyone to molest me.
An FIR was not lodged because both of us left the city. Yes, we ran away. He knew where we worked, where we stayed and coming back to the city to follow up on the case was not an option. Yes we are afraid. I am afraid that one day he is going to find us again. We can still hear the knocks in our nightmares.Share this quote
He claimed he was politically well endowed. We did not want to challenge and find out. We can never. Walking down the street, a guy like him still scares us. We get nightmares and so we cannot sleep alone.
We have been programmed to feel the fear of men. We didn't even realise and it became a part of us.Share this quote
Guy: Okay I give you my word, okay. Next time I see you, I'm not even going to say hi to you.
Girl: That's good. You should not say hi to me.
Girl: Ya, we'll not talk ever again.
Guy: We'll not talk ever again, we'll do all of that. And with all of that, all I get is go back. Nahi yaar, it's not very justified! I'm not getting anything, you're getting everything you want. I'm not getting what I want.
Girl: Fine, you're not getting anything you want. Just go back to your place! You cannot force anything on anybody, just go.
Guy: You know what, can you come back?
Girl: No I cannot.
Guy: And talk to me?
Girl: No. Go back to your balcony, then I'll talk to you.
Guy: Okay, so you promise 5 mins talk to me?
Guy: If I go back to my balcony?
Girl: Ya, ya.
Guy: 5 mins talk?
Girl: Ya, 5 mins talk. But you'll never come back!
Girl: Cool. Go.
Girl: Ya, pakka.
I have written this story hundreds of times before but never did I have the courage to publish it. This is my closure — writing to you. I just want everyone to know that people like him are out there. I want you to know that if you stand by a person, you become her courage and in today's world, courage and hope are big things. I hope I had a little bit of it. Some battles are to be fought with an army. Blaming the victim is an easy option. You save yourself the pain of punishing someone. But you are still punishing only the victim. What for was I punished? For being a girl or trying to make a living.
Share this story because no girl needs to cry and beg in front of a guy who's forcing himself into her house.