Wedding Day Is Special For Every Woman But For Me, It Turned Out To Be The Worst Day Of My Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 5 July, 2017

My story began 7 years ago. I married the guy I had a crush on. Initially my parents were unsure about my decision but I succeeded in convincing them.

I am from Goa and he is from Chennai. We decided to get married in a church, keeping expenditures in mind. The reception was planned at his place. I belong to a middle class family, while he is from a poor background.

I was okay to just have the civil marriage done with a small family get-together. His mother wanted to have a grand wedding and my parents agreed to contribute towards the expenses. I had to sacrifice by not having my close friends and relatives being there on my big day because his family felt that their relatives would not be able to afford the cost of travel and stay. All the expenses were divided equally apart from the church and the food expenses, out of which a share was paid by me. I had a crowd of just 18 people while his parents had invited 300 guests.

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His mother was stubborn and wanted us to get married in a particular church that charged heavily for an hour long ceremony. I felt it was an unwanted expense and backed off from paying that amount. It was the same family which was unsure about the three meals per day.

They believed in showing off their non-existent wealth to the world where as they didn’t seem to mind being buried in debts. His mother even purchased some cookware worth forty thousand rupees.

I remember when my husband came to talk to my parents about his wish to marry me, he made several claims. A few were taking up a separate house for both of us, that he owned a property (fake story), a honeymoon abroad (never happened) and so on.

My parents were hesitant at first as they didn't have a house of their own but I convinced them that we would together build our dream house. He had kept 1 lakh rupees as a security stating that he will earn and we will save more together. Despite all the shortcomings, we got married in May 2016.

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The wedding day is special for every woman, but for me it turned out to be the worst day of my life. This is what happened.

Since my family was not from this state and the local driver didn't know the way to the hall, they were a little late to reach the reception hall. His mother created a fuss at the entrance of the hall and ended up crying. His sister and father joined the quarrel in front of the gathering. They wanted to begin the reception without my parents which I refused. Luckily my family reached and the reception began. His drunken sister pulled the centre piece of the cake just before cutting the cake and destroyed it.

Well, that was just the beginning of how my special day got ruined. My parents left for their state and the first week was somewhat okay as it was spent visiting their relatives. My husband kept going to his parents’ place for meals and forced me to join him. I disliked it as I had to complete the household chores at my husband’s home as well as at his parents’. The rest of the family members sat in front of the television. I started teaching the neighbourhood kids in order to earn some money; only to be later handed over to my in-laws.

This was the scene for the first two months and I was in search of a job to get out of this situation. My husband is a freelancer but hasn't earned much since past 2 years. I somehow managed to get a job. I cooked meals and left for work. I had a holiday on every weekend, but I was expected to go and cook for them and take tuition for the kids.

They called me 'daughter' but all their children were not treated equally.
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It was only me who was expected to work. Their daughter was allowed to wear short western dresses but I was not. I took care of the rent and the meals of the family and even went and cooked for my in-laws.

My efforts were taken for granted. I loved them more than I had loved and cared for my parents. I bought medicines, which even their own children didn’t notice. Maybe few people simply don’t deserve to be treated this well.

 Every time I came from my mother's house, I carried gifts for my in-laws and their relatives. But my in-laws never reciprocated in the same manner.

My father-in-law would just ask me if I got something. Whereas my husband only claimed that he respected my parents. In fact, he never even made a phone call to my parents.  It's almost going to be a year now and my husband has saved nothing.  

My in-laws ask me about having a baby soon. I wonder how I am supposed to have a baby. We are struggling for daily meals. I don’t want to spoil my child’s future.

My husband slyly got me to buy a bike for him convincing that it's for us and we can't use his parent's bike. He also convinced me to take up a loan to start a business. Blindly trusting my husband I took up a loan and started a business as well as bought a bike. I felt good that he is supporting me but couldn't see his hidden motive behind this.

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My husband took advantage of this and avoided searching for jobs on account of helping me. He started using the bike for his parents. He dropped his sister and mother to and from work at my cost. As we were eating at his mother's place as Thanksgiving I used to send meat to cook. But the meat I gave was being cooked and sent to the relatives.

On one side they struggled for money while on the other hand, they keep inviting their relatives for lavish feasts.

My husband’s cigarette expenses are taken care of by his father. One day I warned him saying that he better save some money for my husband’s medical expenses for the future. He replied saying that I have to spend for my husband. I got angry and told him that if his son dies due to his bad habits, it's them to be blamed.

Instead of bothering about his son, this selfish man asked me, if I will be leaving them after his son’s death.

Seeing his reaction I replied ‘Yes I will.’ My husband and his mother have borrowed money from me and haven’t returned it yet. They are getting more materialistic with each passing day. I am used by these greedy people. I am stuck in a place where I have no one. I feel like crying aloud but I can't. My parents can't sleep thinking about the mental stress I am going through.

I wish I had taken my mother's advice seriously. My husband puts in no effort to make our relationship work. When I try to remind him of the promises he has made, he asks me to go and find a man who would keep me happy.

I feel helpless and hopeless thinking about my life. It’s so disheartening to know that finally I get only insults in return, despite doing so much for this new family!