It started in school. Like any other teenager, the idea of having a boyfriend seemed more than just fancy. Within the blink of an eye, I convinced myself of having found my soulmate. Love was in the air. I could feel how intensely I had been giving my all just to make him smile. Time passed, rather flew.

The fancy World isn’t a permanent thing, no matter how badly we wish for it to be. I started realizing that I had taken a big decision at an immature age. I realized that I may have been stupid, but I wanted to keep this realization to myself.

I started working hard to save the relationship I had with him. I ignored being cheated. I ignored being abused. I ignored being physically, emotionally and financially used. And then I met his family and fell in love with them. Now, my aim was not only to have a harmonious relationship with him but also to become a part of the family, which I had already started considering my own. The whole notion of saving the relationship changed.

One day, I got pregnant. He aborted our child. I was left with nothing to lose. But I developed the belief, that this incident will change him for good. But no, I was mistaken.

He continued lying to me. He continued flirting with other girls. He continued shouting at me after being caught. He continued raping me, even after my disapproval. There were only two things we were doing together - either fighting or having sex, because if I said no, the fight would get worse. I had accepted all the wrong that was happening with me, as part of life. At least, I was with the one I loved, and the World would be happy to see us get married. Time passed, and things got worst. It was my 24th birthday, and as usual, we fought.

He made me feel like I was the most terrible girl, a man could be with. He would always compare me with other girls, telling me how they are better than me. I cried. And then something happened.

Maybe in that one day, I grew up by a hundred years. On that birthday, I gave myself a gift – an oath to love myself, and to not allow myself being degraded, nor to be used. I decided to stand for myself, and things changed. He noticed that change too. But this time, I felt that it was completely appropriate to be selfish, and to think about my own self. Maybe he had realized then, the wrong he had been doing. It was not that I was not the ideal girlfriend, but I was taking a lot that I shouldn’t have, and I still blame myself for it.

He immediately started apologizing, and suddenly, became just as he was, when I had first fallen in love with him.

But with each passing day, I was outgrowing him. It was as if my heart had been destroyed, and nothing affected me anymore. There were no emotions. No feelings. I was numb to everything - good or bad. And then, finally, I told him that it was all over. But one fine day, he called me up and started weeping. Just then, again I felt my heartstrings tugging at me. I gave him one last chance, which was the biggest mistake of my life.

He pretended to be perfect, but there was something deep inside me that wasn’t convinced. I was having a hard time trusting him. Ignoring my instincts, I accepted his proposal for marriage.

But then again, as always, he asked me to wait. While the waiting period was going on, I met someone who completely changed my world, someone I had known since long. But that one day changed everything. The Universe was strongly hinting to me that I had found the one for me. He was everything I was looking for. I felt like I was home after a long voyage. I had found my home. And then, there was no scope for second thoughts. It might seem too soon, but my heart which had been numb all this time, could never lie to me.

I took the risk and told my so-called boyfriend that I had found someone else and was getting married to him. To which he responded, “okay”. Maybe he thought that I wasn't serious. But soon he realized, I was.

And then a rage began. His family started calling me, torturing me, threatening me. I had never seen them this way before, because I had always loved them. And soon they arrived at my home, and they told my parents things that should have been kept only between the two people who are dating each other. They said things against the man whom I wished to marry now.

They defamed me, pointed fingers at my character, and stood by their own child. I wish they had seen the real face of their child. They sent me messages that were cursing me.

Today I am caught in a web. But even so, I am happy. I am happy that the universe saved me from a man who claimed to love me but never did. I am happy that I have someone who stands by my side always. I am happy that I have two sisters who will always support me. I am happy that I have found a home in a person. I am happy that I can be myself, without apologizing for it. I have made mistakes, but I have learned from them. There are battles that I must win and people I am answerable to. I am just waiting for the right time.

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