Confession friendship series

The Real Secret Behind My Friendship With Aditi

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

For those who do not know from the beginning, please catch mine and Aditi's story Part - I.

I was busy with my job. The only time I was free was during weekends and even then Mamaji insisted on spending some family time with Grandmother and cousins. I could not talk to Aditi frequently as she was not in touch either and even I did not visit her place due to my own busy life.

One day, mamiji came to know that Aditi was unwell. Mamiji is not a direct relative to Aditi and her family, she is a distant relative. Through some udti udti khabar mein she came to know this news and she mentioned it to us. My maami made a call to her parents and talked to them about her condition and that they will come to see Aditi soon.

I made a call to Aditi and she did not attend it. I made a call to her father and he took my call. He was dull and sounded worried. I asked him what happened and he said, "Aditi has not been eating and sleeping well for a long time now."  She blacked out a couple of days ago and they had to admit her.

As soon as I learned this, one evening, I went to her house. She was in her room. Uncle and aunty spoke to me. They were pretty open about her situation as they knew me and Aditi were very good friends.

They said that Aditi had completed her Master's and that they were looking for a match to get her married. It is not something they were imposing on her.

If she wanted to go for further education or wanted to do a job, that was fine with them, but then she was spending days only thinking about her love interest and spending days in depression, which they were unable to see. Aditi is a lovely girl. She hails from a good family background as well. Whenever she attended a gathering or a function, most times these marriage proposals would come her way. Her parents waited until she completed her education and declined them all.

Now they were desperate to make some decisions for her life. Aditi's parents are the world's best parents according to me. In middle-class families like ours, even if they are broad-minded and educated, they won't approve of the child's interest in making relationship decisions. No matter where they send children, marriage has to happen according to them. But her parents loved her immensely and so they always believed in her and respected her wishes, which made me respect them more and more. They even approved the guy she chose only on the basis of the same belief and that he hailed from a good background, they gave it a thought. The only problem was he was not stable with her.

The way things were going, her parents were not happy with that. They said that in depression, she was not taking care of herself and wanted me to talk to her and find out what she wanted to do in her life.

She never came out of her room; they knocked it several times. Seems like her mother and she were having huge fights regarding her behavior and that if aunty called out her name, she was not willing to come out and talk.

I knocked on her door and said I had just come to see her off and that I will not talk about anything that will make her upset. She opened the door and the room was under dim light. I asked her to switch on the light first. She was looking very weak and I asked if she had eaten anything and if she wished we could go out to her favorite bakery.

She said no first and immediately she said, "Will you take me out?" I replied if she wanted to and if her parents permitted, I will take her out. She asked me to wait outside and that she will get ready and come. Meanwhile, I asked her parents for permission and they agreed. We reached the bakery and I asked her to order something.

She said, "I am not here to eat." I asked her then why she had come out with me. She said that her parents were not allowing her to meet that guy and they think he is spoiling her time and life, and so with my excuse, she had called him and he was coming to meet her.

I was enraged at Aditi. I said I will not be encouraging her on anything that her parents were not allowing. She pleaded not to tell her parents and that she was here to speak with him for one last time. I had no choice but to agree as I was the one who took permission and brought her out.

We waited for half an hour or so and he showed up. He seemed pissed off and he was not even willing to sit at the table. Aditi held his hand and insisted he sit. It seemed to me he was not willing to meet her anymore but due to her requests, he came to meet her anyway.

I said I had to make an important call and it was an excuse to give them both time to speak. I was waiting outside and looked through the glass door from a distance. They both were chitchatting first. Aditi started crying and held his hand. He took his hands off.

I was in a dilemma standing outside whether to approach her or not because the visuals were pretty intense. He suddenly got up and started to leave. He came out with an angry face and started to go to his bike. I stopped him and asked what had happened to her and why was she crying? He replied, "Ask her." He was not willing to speak with me either.

Now, this guy was getting on my nerves. Firstly it's not a gentleman's behavior to leave a girl who is sick and wanted to talk to him, he was leaving her upset and crying not even making an effort to console her. I said "Boss I am a busy person too. I came after my office hours to meet her. She is not well. I guess you would have five minutes to chat with me." I said that with a straight and serious face.

I asked him to wait there and meanwhile, I asked Aditi to take an auto and go to her house. She was crying and people were looking at her. I did not want her to grab that kind of attention. I made sure he waited for me to return. Aditi came out and she looked at him and he was not even wanting to look at her which made her cry more. I asked her to stop crying and go home and not make a sad face at home. I told her I will talk to him and will get back to her. She agreed and left for her home.

I came back to this guy and asked in a serious tone, "What is your problem? She is your girlfriend. She loves you so much that she is fighting with her own family and this is what you are giving to her?" He replied to me that I might be a good friend to Aditi, but it is none of my business. I calmed myself and controlled my rage. I felt ghee seedhi ungli se nahi niklegi, so I took a tedhi ungli approach.

I asked him if Aditi was only willing to marry him, what would be his take on it. He gave a crooked smile and said, "From where marriage came on the cards? I was just spending some casual time. We hung out. We have known each other since high school and like me, he was also just a good friend to her." I was appalled by his reply. I replied, "So you both are not in a relationship?" I looked at him seriously and smiled. He paused and said, "Listen maybe we were, We were teens when we met. It has been a long time now. I changed my path. I feel me and Aditi are not fit to be together anymore. Aditi wants a committed relationship, which is not possible for me. I am just focussing on my career."

I humbly said to convey the same thing to her as she is not moving on. He replied in a frustrated tone that he had conveyed it to her many times. He changed his number. He blocked her on social media knowing she was not forgetting him. What else could he do?

He made Aditi sound like an obsessed lover as if it was only her fault, which I did not like at all. Aditi is a class topper. She is a very well-mannered girl. She can't be obsessed over some freaky egoistic person. I was thinking about it while standing there. He said if the interrogation was over, he wants to leave. I kind of requested him that even if Aditi tries to contact him, just do not be rude to her. I told him I will talk to her and get things sorted. I told him seriously that she was someone's daughter and once his love interest, he does not have to treat her that way. She is a good girl. I do not know how much he agreed with me but he just nodded and took off on his bike.

All this seemed mind-boggling to me. In the heat of the moment looking at Aditi being sad, I had to have a conversation with him and everything just happened involuntarily, but this occurred as a serious issue to me. The way he spoke, he was pretty casual and in his words, it did not seem like he was even thinking about her. Meanwhile, Aditi was calling me continuously to know what happened. I picked up her call and informed her about him leaving.

She was very anxious to know about what I talked about and what he said. I asked her to eat food and take some rest. I will meet her that weekend and we could discuss it. She kept on insisting but I controlled my anger towards her and responded calmly. I asked her to promise to behave like a good girl, to not upset her parents, and that I will get things sorted.

I had no idea of sorting this issue out, but just to assure her I had to say that. It worked and she actually listened to me. I gave it a long thought.

I knew Aditi was in love and relationship disputes are causing her to be depressed. I didn't know that it was so serious to make her appear like an obsessed person. I thought maybe Aditi needed therapy. I could not sleep that night. She was not the Aditi I knew.

To fast forward, I met Aditi that weekend. I was not willing to, but she was eager to know what her love interest told me, so she insisted on meeting. This time I asked her to come to mamaji's house. I thought meeting my mamaji and family may cheer her up. She agreed and uncle dropped her at our home. Everybody greeted her. Maami hugged her and asked about her health. My grandmother complained to her about her absence for a long time and all this conversation took an hour or so.

Aditi was impatient. She texted me to tell her what happened. So I asked her to come to the terrace. She came and showered a series of questions on me. My heart was exploding inside as I was uncertain how she would react. She was already going through a heartbreak and I did not want to break her heart more by telling her about what had happened.

I asked her what matters to her the most in this world more. She said her parents. I asked her if so then why isn't she listening to them? I expressed being very disappointed by her behavior and that this is not what I was expecting from her. How can she be so stupid to fall for a jerk? Even if she did, why is she behaving like an obsessed lover when he is not willing to be with her? Does not she have a strong heart to cope up with a heartbreak? I questioned her - whether her so-called relationship is worthy enough to make her family and herself upset? She was quiet. There was silence as I was staring and expecting a reply from her. She was just numb. I gave her a straight answer that he was not willing to be with her. In fact, he was not even willing to acknowledge their relationship and he spoke as if there was nothing at all, just friendship. She looked at me in shock after listening to that. I made it clear to her that this is the last time I was speaking about this guy and I will even ask her parents not to talk about him with her or me anymore.

I wanted her to move on and think about her future and to contact me only when she is over this. She was quiet. After a while, she started talking. She said she will tell me everything that had happened between him and her and asked me to bury it in my memory. She started crying. I was worried as we were in mamaji's house and if any of the family members came up to the terrace, they would think I made her cry. I asked her to calm down. She was bursting into tears, inconsolable.

Seeing Aditi cry like that, I felt like taking her into my arms, but I did not. I tried to calm her down, but she was going on and on. She was not able to control it and so I left her. She continued by saying, "Do you think I am that foolish to hold on to someone when there is nothing between me and that someone or it is my obsession?" I said I don't know and I would give all my attention to know what she had to say. She mentioned how they were together for years. How possessive he was, not allowing her to go anywhere, do anything she liked, and talk to anyone she liked.

She said she did all that just in pure love for him. And today, just because he is not into her anymore, she has to forget everything? Just because moving on became a thing, people do not value relationships in life? She questioned me. She again started crying. I could feel her suffering, she was feeling betrayed. Internally, she knew that but she was afraid to accept the fact. She mentioned how he promised to talk about her with his family. The series of events drove her to this state. I tried to console her again. She insisted on not telling these things to anyone. I assured her I had already forgotten what she had said and her secrets were sealed.

I asked her what is the use of holding a person who is not willing to be with her. She replied, "I had been so close to him and he has been a part of my life for so long. I never imagined anyone but him. I cannot marry anyone else but him. It is better if I stay unmarried. He promised me I was the one and this is no casual relationship."

Looking at her I felt how innocent she was. She reminded me of the fact that women give their everything when they trust the other one blindly and when they love, they do it wholeheartedly.

I did not know what to say. I was naive myself in such things like giving someone relationship advice. I felt it was her innocence that revealed everything to me. It was also her pure heart to still stick on to the person she had once loved. She again started crying, "Are you judging me?" she asked. I said to her it was absolutely okay. She trusted him. She loved him. Her judgment about him went wrong, that's all. Otherwise, there was not even a single fault of her. I asked her not to contact him anymore and get humiliated. Most importantly, her parents were suffering that was not justified. If she was unable to move o,n I asked her to go out of the city, somewhere else. I asked her to apply for jobs somewhere else. She appeared to be listening to me, but I know she was deeply hurt.

Days passed and Aditi was again MIA. I knew this would happen as she felt really humiliated when I was continuously scolding her the day she came to mamaji's house to talk to me. I decided to make her come out of this another way so I started doing my own research. One of Aditi's friends was on my friends' list on Facebook. She was also Aditi's close friend and a classmate during graduation. I texted her on Messenger and asked her to call me and gave her my contact number. She called me after seeing my message on messenger. She was aware that I was Aditi's childhood friend. I asked her about Aditi's ex-boyfriend. If she knows about him and any other details. She said she knows him as I know of him. Besides that, she had a common friend with him. The common friend was Aditi's ex-boyfriend's school friend.

I wanted her to do some research about him if possible. Something about that guy was really mysterious, it was my instinct. I wanted her to find out some personal details about him if she could. She asked me why? I said I wanted to help Aditi come out of this miserable state and that I needed her to see the truth about the guy she loved so much. If there was anything fishy as I believed, I wanted Aditi to know it. I do not know how Aditi's friend found out things about him. She actually did a splendid job.

From the common friend, she came to know that Aditi was of course special in his life for a long time, but she was not the only girl. He had many girlfriends. Her friend mentioned in a school reunion, he once mentioned getting married soon. He said he was in love with someone and that he wanted to marry her. But that girl was not Aditi.

I would spare the details because it has already been a long post. We somehow found out that career and all were just excuses, actually, he was getting rid of Aditi. Why? Only he could answer that. While Aditi was in contact and he was bluffing her, he was also in contact with the girl he wanted to marry.

Aditi was unaware of all this. I wanted Aditi's friend to reveal all these things to Aditi and show her some proof. She did so and Aditi was clearly heartbroken. I also came to know that he did not even marry the girl he wanted to marry, and as I had guessed, this guy was just a bluff master. It took Aditi a year or so to get over him.

You see not everyone in this world is practical about things. Relationship is something that is linked emotionally. It is not wrong to have open relationships and casual hookups, but the partners should be aware of it.

I believe no matter what the relationship is, nobody has the right to hurt the other one either physically or emotionally.

Aditi's ex-boyfriend was always a control freak and every one of us witnessed it. It was never casual for him. It is just when a relationship is carried on for so long, sometimes people grow out of it. I do not blame him for being that way. But I surely will not agree with what he did to Aditi. He drove her to the verge of breakdown. She suffered only and only because she loved him wholeheartedly.

Some people are naive and pure and they believe everyone around them is that way, Aditi is one of them. She took her time, but she came out of it when she learned more about him. While screwing up with Aditi's mind, he was actually setting his own life. He decided to get married and settle down.

He started his own business developing his career while he did not allow Aditi to approach any job out of the town and many such things. She has learned the hard way that in life, not every person is worthy of trust and love.

Later in her life she settled in a job and worked for two years or so. Meanwhile her parents started searching for potential matches for her. I came to know because my Mamiji does these matchmaking things. I was no longer living in the same place, but I came to know it through my family.

I had moved to Bangalore then. Aditi used to call me once in a while and she thanked me now and then for helping her with bad chapters in life. Whenever I visited Mamaji's house, I used to go to Aditi's house as well. I guess that is when I came to know there was a guy her parents were considering for her. It was a match suggested by my mamiji.

He is a doctor and I know him too. He is from my mamiji's side of the family. He is good looking and most importantly, a very good human. Aditi later called me to talk about this. I said she should consider this as it was a better match and we knew that person. He is good. She agreed to her parents' wishes. I could only attend her engagement. During her wedding, I was out of the country for office work. I apologized to her for that and wished her all the happiness for a new step in life. Rest is just history.

Slowly, she started fading away from my life. She is busy with her own family life. Now she is a mother to an adorable daughter and in the safe hands of a good person.

Do you know why I took so much effort just for Aditi and not just any other friend in life? Aditi is the love of my life.

Yes! I never admitted it to myself for a long time. I learnt it eventually every time I felt protective and concerned about her. I wanted to marry her. I wanted it to be through our families - that my parents go talk to her parents once I get settled in a job.

I never wanted to get in any romantic relationship with her first. As soon as she revealed her love to someone, I took all these thoughts and ideas out of my mind. I would not say I never wished for her to be mine, I did, but Aditi never saw me that way. She always loved and respected me as her friend.

I have known her since we were kids and for me it was only important at that time just to see her happy.

Not every love and relationship has to be romantic, sometimes to see the person you love happy in life matters. I was concerned about her when she was depressed and I was determined to bring her out of her grief.

My sister teases me till date about Aditi. She questions me in a funny way, "Are you sure you were not in love with her?" I just smile and say if that khayali pulao entertains her, she can continue with that, but Aditi has always been a close friend. I never admitted to my sister either. I felt it was unnecessary.

Now Aditi is a married woman and a mother. I do not want to say any such things about her to my sister or anyone. 

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