The Mom In Me Just Wants To See The Beauty Of My Child’s Life Through His Eyes

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 31 March, 2018

I still remember the first compliment that I got from one of my friends. She had just heard about my baby’s arrival into this world.

She said, “Welcome to the world of mommies!” It sounded wonderful to hear this.

Yes. I am a parent now. I feel I have got a promotion in my life now. I know that God has blessed me and has entrusted me with the responsibility of bringing up another precious human being.  I simply cannot express my happiness in words. Often I am overwhelmed with joy and feel ecstatic. 

Advertisement

As parents, we all have myriad beautiful feelings for our child. We feel so happy when we see our baby turn towards us when it hears our voice. We are so excited to hear him/her utter the first word- Mum…..ma/ Pa…pa. We will never tire of trying to make them take those first few baby steps in our direction. We will think a million times before deciding upon his/her name. Only the right name will suffice for our precious child.

But great happiness is always associated with great responsibility.

And now our first responsibility is to change ourselves. Maybe we know this. But how do we go about doing this? We are inherently sceptical about whether we are doing the right thing for our baby. This fills us with a feeling of insecurity which weighs heavily on our hearts and minds.

Sometimes as parents we are anxious about our child’s future. At such times, we just need to remember the time we first saw the face of our little angel.

Advertisement
We just need to tap into the love of that moment for all our fears to melt into oblivion.

Their innocent smiles have the power to relax every stressed-out nerve of ours. And we can make sure that that smile remains on their innocent faces with our divine love. We just need to love our children unconditionally. Our children will automatically light up our lives with their smiles.

But our anxiety multiplies over time and before anyone else can even think of judging us we will unknowingly start judging ourselves.

Somehow we feel we always have to clear the ‘Preset Parental Exam’ with distinction. And when we see the actual report card, the tender emotions of our heart go haywire.

People complicate matters further by giving us tags.
Advertisement

People think we are not a good mother/father when we do not meet their preset criteria. If the baby is not gaining weight, it is because the mother is not paying enough attention to his health or is too busy with her own ‘work schedule.’ In case we happen to be a ‘full-time mommy’ and our child is ‘weak’ by their standards, the remarks that we get, become more sarcastic.

“God knows what she does at home. Probably she is too busy watching those idiotic soaps daily. All she does is gossip over the phone and then surf endlessly on the internet. She is so busy window shopping that she has no time to take care of the poor little child.”

When the child starts going to school, the remarks will now be about their academic performance.

“Look how poorly the child has performed in his class. The father is a workaholic. He has no time to devote to his child’s academics. How will the child improve?”

When the child fails to gain admission in a reputed school or college the blame will again fall on the parents’ shoulders.

“His father should have been prudent while making his career choices. He would have then gained a better position in a reputed firm by now.”

Advertisement

And if the child grows up and chooses his/her own life partner, again the parents are accused of not bringing up the child properly.

“Had the mother been a little more diligent, the girl wouldn’t have brought shame to the family.”

The list of sarcastic comments is endless.

The hapless parents work round the clock to improve the health of the child or push the child harder and harder to reach the goals defined by such judgemental people.

The simplest way to break away from this vicious cycle is to move away from such people. They simply cannot create the milestones for our child’s life. The milestones that they are creating may be unimportant and irrelevant to our child's progress. It may even hamper the natural progress of our child.

We just have to repeatedly remind ourselves that we are just caretakers of our children. We should opt out of the rat race. We should have more faith in our children. And it should be absolutely fine for us if our child is not ‘good’ or ‘perfect’ in some areas. All we have to do is to fulfil the needs of our children to the best of our ability.

Advertisement
Every child will grow at his/her own pace.  They all need their own space to spread their wings in this world.

As parents, it is our duty to prepare them for their life ahead. But their real mentor is ‘life’ itself. We just have to equip them with the right skill set.

They have to learn to navigate the boat of their own lives in the sea of life. And as parents, we should be able to see the beauty of their life through their eyes.

We may walk for miles with our kids. But we also grow as human beings when we undertake this wonderful journey of parenting with our child. We too get another chance to understand the true meaning of life when we see our children growing up.

Editor's Note:

The entire world may blame us for our child’s failures/weaknesses. But it will not matter to us. It will not matter to our child too. The child knows that his parents will stand by him and that his parents have t-o-t-a-l faith in him. That alone is enough for him. Being a parent makes us that strong. It’s as simple as that. Do share this story if you too feel that we evolve into better human beings when we become parents.