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No Matter What I Hear, Your Silence Was Enough To Show Me My Place

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Dear Parth,

I never thought I would speak to you. I never thought I would fall in love with you. I never thought I would keep staring at you all day.

Life has its own surprises.

I still remember the first time I made you work for me in your college. You were wearing a blue denim shirt and you had a walky-talky in your hand. That day I never had time to notice you and thank you for the help you did.

I forgot about you after I got busy with the cultural competitions in your college. All the while when I was performing, I saw you sitting in the front row and watching me. I thought you were one among the cultural coordinators and I never looked at you again. I never knew I would see you again in my life.

The day I saw you again in my dance class, I remember thinking that I had never imagined such a chance meeting would happen. As soon as I saw you, I bent my head and started scrolling through my phone. On the outside, I might have appeared like I did not care about you, but on the inside I felt the butterflies.

And after that day, we started saying casual “hellos”.

Our hellos soon changed into small talks, and from small talks they soon changed into long talks after class. You waited until my driver came to pick me up.

Every time your friends teased you with me, I saw that smile on your face. That smile made me believe you liked me. The random reasons you would use to see me during class and the looks you used to give me, made me believe that you liked me.

The people around me told me that you liked me. I was happy to hear that and at the same time I was scared inside.

I was not ready to be broken again. For you birthday, I had planned a big surprise for you. I made the needed arrangement for the surprise. On your birthday, when I texted, I never got a reply from you.

I knew you were online. But you never replied.

It felt like I played no part in your life, that day. I threw the gift that I had bought for you. I wanted to ask you to allow me to become a shadow inside you... But everything that I thought would happen, just remained a dream.

Maybe I’m not as good looking has the other girls, but I too have a heart. Do you know how it feels to get a reply 12 hours later from the person you love?

I realized I’m not as important as your best friend Sanjh. I realized you give her more importance in life, more than you give me.

I might be a girl who has just entered your life, but I think I deserve to know the truth. People still tell me that you love me.

Is it true? Do you have a crush on me or did you ever have a crush on me?

Tell me. I’m cheating myself without knowing the answer.

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