Love has no ending. But I guess only a few people are lucky in love because they are loved by the person they love. But then this too is true. Even one-sided love is not all that bad because somewhere in the corner of our hearts we start nurturing a little hope and have a lot of faith in our love.

7 years back I was a shy youngster who rarely went outside. I had very few friends. I could count them on my fingers. But if someone talked to me I would always reply with a genuine smile.

I fell in love because of the genuine smile that I flashed to people. It was literally like ‘Hasee To Phasee!’

I was squirming with discomfort and felt bad when a smart guy started paying me so much attention. Everyone else was busy in the hustle and bustle of the grand party. At that time, I was unaware that he would become very special to me later on.

The entire party seemed amazing now and I could think of nothing else after that. 

I wondered who he was and where he lived. So many questions were buzzing around in my head.  Finally, I got the answers to all my questions when I saw his photo on my Facebook wall. He was posing with his brother.

That is when I realized that he was none other than my favourite senior in our school.

I too had finished with my school. I was in the 2^nd year of my college now. I could not recognize him at the party because he had left our school to join another school. But he had changed totally.

He was no longer a student. He was a man now.

I was curious about him so I sent him a friend request. I wanted to get the answers to all the queries that I had about him. These questions haunted me at night. I waited for a week but he did not accept it. So I sent him a message reminding him about how we had met at the party that night. I told him that he had been wearing blue denim jeans with a maroon and grey full-sleeved T-shirt. He then recollected meeting me. We then discussed many things and he finally accepted my friend request.

I was still a student and he was placed in a reputed software company. But he had not yet joined the company. So he had a lot of free time on his hands. We would chat frequently and often both of us ended up chatting throughout the night. We would talk about our school.

I knew him very well but he did not know much about me.

He was famous for his academic achievements. He took part in cultural programmes and usually gave the command during the morning prayers. He was also the head of the scout guides. So whenever some special guests arrived, he would welcome them on behalf of the students.

He was surprised and glad to hear all this from me.

But yes, I remembered all the things that he had done. He then started working. It was his first day at work. I still remember the date clearly. I had been waiting for his reply since morning. And all of a sudden, he replied at around 1 a.m. saying that he had just returned from his office after completing all his formalities. He told me that he had replied to me first. I felt like I was in heaven at that time.

I had already fallen for him. He was so nice to me. He always guided me. He took a fair stand on things. I was not mature like him. I thought he was a little short-tempered. But I really respected him.

He then became busy with his job. Time passed and I went on to do my MBA degree. We kept chatting but things were fading between us slowly. I was insecure because he was the first man in my life.

I did not want to lose him. I would wait for his messages but they never came. I had already confessed my feelings to him. But he was not feeling the same way for me.

I went home during the Diwali vacation and even got to meet his parents at my aunt's house. My parents too chatted with them. Then his mother asked me, “Do you know Garv?” I said, “Yes, Aunty.” But I wanted to call her ‘Maa’ and I wanted to call his father ‘Baba’ for the rest of my life.

I knew that we didn’t talk much to each other now. But every year I wished him in a special way. My fingers were always eager to call him.

But I always stopped myself because I did not want to bother him.

I wished I could get back the time that we spent together. I wanted to laugh with him, cry with him and be his soul mate. I wanted to be with him when he faced all the ups and downs of his life.

“Aadat si bana lu tujhe, dil kahe, dil dhunde dil tujhe ye kitni martaba har dafaa…!” These words best described my feelings for him.

I know all this happened 7 years back. So many things have changed now.

But the love that I had for him will never change.

He will always be special for me till my last breath. I respect him from the bottom of my heart. I will always pray for his success and wish that he leads a happy life. I know that we can’t be together because we are not on the same wavelength. But I hope we will be together in our next birth.

And you do know Garv – you know that I really- really love you.

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