My Life Was Never The Same Again After I Asked Him That Question

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 15 November, 2017

I first saw him on a train during the rush hour. My heart skipped a beat. I knew it was love at first sight.

I tried to control myself but I dreamt of him constantly.

A few days later, I saw him again on the train. This time I thought that probably he noticed me too. We slowly became friends. Close friends. Fortunately, I got to know that we belonged to the same caste. I liked him from the first day. Slowly I started falling in love with him. I became attached to him emotionally.

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The only thing that bothered me was that he never showed me the kind of love that I was looking for. He was older than me by seven years. I was still studying while he had already started working.

I convinced myself saying that this was not the correct time for me to express my feelings for him. But I could not control myself and ended up expressing my feelings to him.

That day he looked into my eyes and smiled at me. But he didn’t give me an answer. I was innocent and thought that his silence meant ‘Yes'.

We became closer to each other with each passing day. I will never forget those six golden months of my life. He didn't propose to me directly but he behaved as if he cared for me and loved me a lot. I fell for his words and actions. One day I just decided to be direct with him.

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I asked him if he loved me. He just kept quiet.

I asked him the same question several times always. He always told me to just concentrate on my career for now. I was innocent enough to believe him. But one day I forced him to give me an answer. He openly told me the truth. He said he was already committed to another girl who belonged to a different community. He said he had been in a relationship with her for the past three years.

I was heartbroken. I was shattered. I realized that I had been living in a world which was created with false hopes.

He was already in a long distance relationship with her. I felt that he had just used me in every possible manner. He had played with my emotions.

The worst part was when he said, “Chill baby! Can’t we be good friends? Is there anything more between us?”
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He had told me the truth but these questions bothered me a lot. His lover betrayed him so he finally ended up marrying another girl that his parents approved of. It does not matter that he is married to another innocent girl. I pity that girl. I just hate this man for what he did to me. He broke me emotionally. He broke my heart into so many tiny pieces that it can never be repaired again.

I still continue to hate you but I always end up falling in love with those six months that we shared together. I love that person who made me so happy.

I hate myself for loving you even today.

But no matter what happens, my hatred for you will always be followed by the love that I have for you. Just like dawn is always followed by dusk, my hatred will always be replaced by my love towards you.

Author's Note:

I always believe that Karma never leaves us. We reap what we sow. But this too is true. No matter how hard we try, we can never forget our first love.

Editor's Note:

Love can be euphoric when we are loved and doted upon. But love can cause us intense soul-searing pain too. The lessons are bitter and painful but we do learn from them as we grow up. Maybe that is how we all become mature. Let's share this naïve young girl's story because she needs our emotional support right now. In time, she will get over her confusion and bitterness and learn to love again. Don't you think so too?