It always feels nice to have a partner who gives you a special place in their life, especially when you have no friends and he or she is the ultimate one for you. For the ones who don't have friends, their world revolves around their partners. But that also means they are bound to fall into an emotional mess.

I am in that state now. My fall started when I made my boyfriend my whole world and he got to know that secret.

It's sad but true that he came to know about my weakness — that I have no friends and I am totally dependent upon him. So like any other greedy human being, he started taking advantage of my vulnerability. He used to cunningly play mind games with me by torturing me, emotionally and physically. When he hit me for the first time, I made a mistake by taking it and not walking off. Instead he slapped me hard and started to walk away and I was the one pleading him to stay back.

In my heart I knew that what I was doing was wrong but I was scared that I will be left alone, all over again. My previous break up had left me traumatised. So I didn't want him to leave just yet. I wanted to believe that it was my mistake every time he hit me and I always ended up begging him to stay. It used to come to me naturally.

He had no job, he lived on my money, I got him gifts all the time to make him feel special. In our five year of relationship he didn't get me a single gift from. He is not even searching for a job because his life is so comfortable.

I am 30 now and he is four years younger than me. My parents are after my life to get married but then I am waiting for him to at least have a job so that we can get married but he doesn't care. One day I was angry with him and I pushed him hard after which he lost his balance but didn't fall.

After that he beat me black and blue and he was not even sorry about it.

He again said, "It was your mistake that you pushed me." I said sorry and pleaded him to not leave me. So we are together again. Our parties continued on my money, sex continued because that's all he needs. I knew all this while that he was using me but I was scared.

One day I didn't praise him for how he looked in a shirt I bought him. I don't know what happened to him when I called him a poor innocent guy. From that day onwards he stopped talking to me. His reason is that I don't compliment him. Now I've decided that it's too much for me to be getting beaten up and begging him still to be with me.

I'm not asking him to come back anymore, he is yet again playing with my feelings. I think now I'm done. 

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