(In continuation of I Agreed To Marry A Shameless Man So He And His Greedy Family Could Ruin My Life) 

I felt very uncomfortable and I did not want to share such a moment with anyone for the fear of losing my respect. I kept it a secret. He said, "You are foreign-educated, so hard to trust girls these days, also it is boring only to see your face everyday, turn the webcam a bit down, I want to see your ****."

I felt very uncomfortable after hearing those words.

He said, "I am going to be your husband anyway, will you not show me anything after marriage?" For a girl full of self-respect, this one came as a shocker but I kept my calm by telling myself, "Tomorrow is going to be fine and everything will be settled." But that tomorrow never came. His parents threatened, insulted, mocked, harassed, and extorted me and my family in every way possible.

They even had excuses for that. His father has schizophrenia, his mother had a surgery, and his brother was told by an astrologist that his life is short. So, I had to keep quiet.

They never let me and my husband unite till they got my HIV test done to prove that I was of 'good character'. I still don't know why I kept quiet. As I said, I was optimistic and I was thinking that the test was for visa purposes even though the visa never required that HIV test.

I forgot all of that to have a good start in my married life but I was constantly harassed and kept in the dark. He never shared anything about his own life with me. He was very secretive and a liar. He never let me talk to any of his or my friends, relatives, or colleagues. It was like a house arrest all the time. He hated me.

The only time he was good to me was when he slept with me. He just had it, with or without my permission.

I was a machine made to fulfil all his desires. His biggest complaint was that I did not work, for which he insulted me day in day out. Once I got the job, he ignored the fact that I was pregnant and suggested I had an abortion. I didn't. I worked till one month before my due date. He never bought me any gifts, no celebrations, no outings, just house arrest, and the blame game. He criticised me for everything — for how bad my parents are, how bad my brother is, and how bad I was.

He had a problem with how I looked, my complexion, my 'nasty smile'. He said he was ashamed to walk around with me outside. He crossed all his limits when he asked me who I was sleeping with.

Finally I started living away from him — me, my child, and my parents. He visited, I never resisted that but I couldn't take the nonsense any longer. His parents and brother harassed me in ways I can't talk about yet he wanted me to be in touch with them.

They always forced themselves on me. 

I kept away. One day he came to kill me to take away my child.

I lodged a police complaint. Then filed a petition for divorce. He still sends me death threats. He had a criminal record in the UK for money laundering and breach of immigration law. I got him out of that ordeal by talking to the best of the lawyers. He doesn't have any gratitude for that and on the contrary, he blames me for his ill fate. Then why does he really want me in his life?

Educated and capable of bringing up my child on my own, I chose to walk away to never go back to him again.

I never shared my problems with anyone. Now I'm fighting many health problems, including depression and hormonal imbalance. Life will never be the same again, I know. He still has the audacity to file a counter to my petition. I pray to God to keep him away from me and my son forever, to avoid the trauma that I have been through.

If I'm ever forced to go back to him, I would not hesitate to end my life.

Literally I'm a flower that was opened even before it blossomed and crushed so hard that there is no fragrance left inside. But I am surviving so that I can live till I die and give a life to my child who means the world to me. World is cruel but I guess living through it is the only choice I have left with me.

I am hated, loathed, and despised by my own family and relatives. I am considered unlucky for many in my family. I cry everyday, I feel helpless because it's stopping me from doing all the work that needs my attention at the moment. I have lost my mind, I can't think anymore.

I wish there was a way out of this hell. I really wish. 

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