friendship heartbreak emotional sadness

My Friend Also Broke My Heart, I Just Wasn't Expecting It To Be Possible

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I feel empty. This is the first time in my life that I have felt this way for a friend. Till a few months ago, he was just a friend.

I didn’t care if we spoke or not. I didn’t care if we were friends or not.

But things changed. We started sharing the smallest details of our lives with each other. He knew all about my day and I knew about his.

I still remember the day when I was upset but was not willing to tell him the reason. He said, "I don't think you consider me your best friend otherwise you wouldn’t hide anything from me. Tell me whatever it is.”

It was a very nice feeling. We had become best friends.

It felt the same as someone saying that they love you.

I always pretended to be a strong woman in front of everyone. I tried to do the same with him as well. But I could not wear that mask for long. He saw my emotional side.

When he did not come for my birthday, I was angry and said, "I’ve realized that I don't matter to you at all. Otherwise, you would have come to meet me."

"Why do you feel that? I was really busy or else I would have surely come,” was his reply.

Well, we met that weekend and had a fun night. He gifted me something too.

But in my case, things always go wrong and they did that day.

After one of the best birthday celebrations, I got a call from home. It was not good news. I broke down in front of him. He tried to console me and it made me feel better.

There were friends who had started saying that I was treating him more than just a friend.

After all, nobody can digest the fact that a boy and a girl are just friends.

One day, while we were talking, he suddenly became silent. I asked him the reason but he did not say anything. From that day, we started having misunderstandings.

But I never thought that they would grow to an extent where we would stop talking to each other.

He patched up with his other friends and started speaking to all of them. I had a lot of friends too but his behaviour affected me.

I did not know what to do. I thought that letting him go was the only option.

If he didn’t want me, I couldn’t force him to be friends.

I’d always felt that he was my friend only because he had nobody else. I knew that he would leave me the moment he found other friends. Ultimately, my fears came true.

He cancelled our plan without informing me and made a plan with his other friends. For almost an entire week, I kept following up about the plan. But he was too busy.

I found out that he had time to talk to others but not me. That hurt me.

He kept ignoring me and I couldn’t understand the reason behind his behaviour. However, he had a belonging of mine. So I called him and asked for it. I thought I’d ask him why he was ignoring me but he was very disturbed.

I told him, "I came here to take my belonging. I am opting out of your plan because you are a part of it and I am deeply hurt by you."

He was upset but I could not keep my feelings within me.

He said that we’d talk about it later. Since then, we have not exchanged a single word. I don't know if I was too rude.

I was busy the whole time but could not get him out of my mind. I realized that friends can also break your heart.

I do love him but I am not in love with him.

I love him as my best friend. Whenever I go to any place that we had visited together, I think of him. We had spent a lot of time together. And I do miss it.

After my heartbreak, I was unable to trust any guy. It was my best friend who taught me to trust again.

He made me realize that not all guys are the same.

Whenever I looked at him, I saw myself in him. I just want to say a few words to him.

"Dear Bestie,

I am sorry if I ever hurt you. You know that I would never do it intentionally. Neither would you.

Just because we are not talking doesn't mean that our friendship is over.

We have had a misunderstanding, which I hope that we can sort out once you are free. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I love you. I miss you more than you ever will and much more than you can imagine.

I don't know if we will be best friends again.

But I am pretending to be fine. I am pretending that I am Ok with you not talking to me.

I am pretending that I don't care. But the truth is, it hurts.

Remember all the trips we’d planned? I don't know when that will happen. But please come back soon. 

Lots Of Love,

Your Bestie (I hope I still am)."

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