It Feels Like He's Not Even Here But I Know He's Always Watching Over Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 16 July, 2018

Some relationships continue even after we die.

Our relationships define the essence of our lives from the time we are born. When we first enter this world, we know we are a part of someone else’s being.

We have not yet forged any relationship with anyone.
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We cannot even remember this stage of our lives. We hear stories about the midwife who bathed us or the old woman who sang us to sleep or of our grandparents and neighbours. But most of these incidents are just memories in the minds of our parents and they too fade away with time.

As we grow up, we start understanding ourselves and learn to define our relationships and are able to classify them as good, bad or ugly.

We start thinking and feeling. All our thoughts and emotions start evolving with age. When we are young, our teacher plays the role of our second mom. She becomes the most important person in our lives – apart from our mothers of course. Slowly we start making friends.

Some of them are with us for life.
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Then the focus shifts from our second moms to our second families. And for all animal lovers, pets play a critical role.

We realize that love is unconditional.

We love our pet- whether it is a dog or a cat or a bird or a fish. We experience extreme joy and happiness when we are with them but we experience sorrow too when they pass away.

We now understand how intensely painful sorrow can be.

We then move on with our lives to experience all the joys and the sorrows of our growing up years.  As adults, the mere sight of someone special makes us skip a heartbeat.

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We understand the meaning of ‘butterflies in our stomach’ now. Sometimes ‘love’ even makes us hum a happy tune.

Then we will plumb the depths of sorrow again when we spend endless nights with wet pillows. We will spend long hours on our phones as we lean on the shoulders of our friends for comfort and solace. We then move on with our lives after experiencing our first heartbreak.

All along, we keep telling ourselves that there is no relationship that is more important than the one that we are in now.

‘Being in love’ is the best feeling in the entire world but we can’t live in the bubble of deceit forever. We now have to shoulder more and more responsibilities in our own worlds. We realize that we were living in a bubble earlier.

We learn to break out of our bubble and forge new bonds with others.

Before we even realize this, we are in the midst of a big bad rat race which neither has a beginning nor an ending.

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Our relationships help us discover the different facets of our own personalities. We will be amazed to discover them because we never knew our own worth till then. But at the same time, we will also realize that everything and everyone comes with an expiry date. There is always an easy replacement for any person.

This makes us question humanity. This also makes us question virtues like modesty and all our other virtues too that we had imbibed all through our growing up years.

We slowly learn to adapt to a new way of things and learn to go with the flow.

Then comes the time when we make the most important decision of our lives. We will decide to spend it with someone else. A new bubble is born again. Slowly, we learn from life.

We realize that all the feelings that we have for someone and the love that they have for us depends on a lot of other factors. Love is eternal – but conditions do apply.

This jolt shakes us so much that we learn to look at life more realistically now. But we learn to move on again and end up creating yet another new world of emotions for ourselves – with our child. We now realize that all our other relationships and all the other feelings that we experienced earlier in our lives were nothing compared to this feeling.

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Those tiny fingers rule our world and control our every emotion.

We now understand the true meaning of unconditional love. We know we are creating another bubble again. Despite all our past experiences our hearts and minds refuse to listen to us.

Deep within we know that one day, someday, they too will move on in search of their bubbles, making and breaking their own bubbles along their own journey in life.

And it is at such times that we start wondering. Is there and will there ever be a relationship that will last forever?

Yes. There is and will be.

It is the relationship that we share with ourselves and the Almighty. From the time we have learnt to feel love or hate, someone up there has always been with us.

He has helped us up each time one of our bubbles burst. More often than not He was the one who created all those bubbles for us.

Ancient scripts have described this as the most beautiful relationship in this universe and it is definitely an eternal relationship. These scripts speak of the last stage of our lives – the stage in which we have fulfilled all our duties and it is time now to surrender our soul to the creator.

But for some of us – this realization comes much earlier in our lives. So let go of everything. Nothing lasts forever – Be it the good or the bad or the ugly.
Editor's Note:

Do share this story to understand the transient nature of joy/sorrow and relationships. Let’s learn to find that perfect sense of balance in our lives within the stillness of our own hearts. Let’s delve deep into our own souls and learn to shed our pride/ego and sense of ownership. Our tone softens. Our words lose their sting because we realize that we are merely pawns in a higher power’s game plan. We bow down with humility and welcome love into our lives.