Love is the purest form of expressing your emotions for someone. It is the most beautiful feeling as it makes you feel like you are on top of the world. You fall in love with your parents, you fall in love with your friends, you fall in love with your siblings, and you fall in love with that special someone you want to spend your life with.
Similarly, I fell in love with my husband 8 years back and decided that he is the one for me. I told my parents about him within 2 months and made it clear that I want to marry him. My dad has always been supportive of me but for some reason, he wasn’t convinced. He told me it will be hard for me to adjust in his house because he is not from the same caste. He also pointed out that his drinking habits will create problems in our relationship and that I was taking the decision of marrying him too soon.
That day my dad sat with me and suggested that I wait for some more time before we get married, that I should get to know him better before we tell our relatives about him. But I was adamant that he had to agree to what I was saying. God, I wish I would have listened to him then.
The casual drinking turned into heavy drinking in all these years. I started dreading weekends. The amount of alcohol he consumed made me sick every time I saw him. He even wanted to kill me and my 3 year old son once after getting drunk. He left no chance to insult or torture me.
Since he pays the house rent, I should never disobey what he says or else I can walk out of the house. He tells me that I have no right to use his money to buy even the basic necessities and if I do, he puts me through unimaginable mental trauma.
Every weekend comes with a sense of fear. He has broken almost all the glass items in our house and he is now focused on breaking my morale.
Every Monday, he turns back to being the perfect husband and father, leaving no traces of that horrible person I was with over the weekend. I am not a perfect person either but I don’t try to find solutions to my problems in alcohol.
I am now in a situation where I can’t go to my father because even though I know he’ll accept me, I don’t want him to know that I am unhappy. I don't want to hurt him as I have always been very strong in front of him. I know he cries for me, but I also know the day I go back to him he will not be able to deal with the social pressure and it might even affect his life. It will kill him before it kills me. I will never let that happen. I am stuck and I don't know for how long.
If you are reading this, know that love feels amazing but one must be careful. Take time before you decide to commit. You have been raised by your parents with a lot of love and care and they will not be able to see you upset and helpless. Give time to each other, understand each other, try to understand the lifestyle they follow and do point out in case you think anything needs to be worked upon.
Lastly, do listen to your parents and consider their advice. They have loved you more they have loved anyone else and they always know better.