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I'm A 30-Year-Old Single Woman And This Is Why I'll Never Give Marriage A Chance

( words)
*For representational purpose only.
After two boys who broke my heart, he arrived. We met through a matrimonial site and everything was making sense. Stars had written it all on the sky that I belonged to him. 29 years of longing came to an end.

Love happened before, accomplishment was happening now. All my desires had taken a shape. I started living the love. Every time he held my hand, I felt myself rising above all the worries and despair, rising above all the wait, above all the wounds that were given by people I had put my faith in.

But all my fears came to life when he said that his mom didn’t agree. It was contradictory to his earlier statement where he kept mentioning how I was a replica of his fighter mother and how he loved me no less than her and how she was going to love me like a daughter of her own since she didn't have one.

He also said that his father wanted the bride to spend a lot of money at the wedding, but he’s extremely against the idea. He said he never wanted anyone else's money, all he wanted was me and life would be pointless without me.

So when he said "mom said no", I wanted to know on what grounds. He didn't show any desperation to be with the "first and last love of his life." He seemed to have made up his mind to leave, no matter how much I pleaded him to stay.

I slapped him, and warned him that I will seek police and judicial assistance. Following my tears and his fears, I returned the ring that he made me wear sitting on his knees. I also returned the couple of thousand rupees I thought were more of a burden on my soul, which he spent on me.

So there was nothing left between us. I returned all that he spent on me, but he would never be able to return all that I had invested. It was only feelings and trust. I am so exhausted that I can't even look at myself in the mirror since the time he told me that he got engaged to a girl his parents chose for him, and that he wants me to move on.

Amidst all this I have turned 30 and hopeless and loveless. I look 40 and do not intend on marrying anyone because I have given up on the idea of love. It happened because I let that happen and more so because I trusted.

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