I Wish My Husband Knew How Much Our Love Suffers Because Of These Little Things

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 9 October, 2017

I am a 32 year old woman. I was born and brought up in Bangalore. I was my parents’ second child. Like all other girls, I think my dad was and is my first hero. Life was so very colourful. I had a best friend with whom I shared all my secrets and we gossiped a lot. My dad worked hard to earn our daily bread and even borrowed money so that we could study. He gave us whatever we asked for and never said, “No” to anything.

My mom is the best mom in the world. She changed her lifestyle to match dad’s earnings and sacrificed a lot for the family. I enjoyed my childhood.

I was not a rank holder. I hated school and homework. My teachers called me ‘A cat on the wall’. They were not confident about me because they could never really predict whether I would pass or fail. But I completed school without wasting a single year. It was time to start my PUC now. I found four darling friends and my college days became beautiful. They have always been by my side in good and bad times.  Of course like every other girl in this world, I too had a crush and dreamt about my future husband.

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The guy on whom I had a crush was so handsome. I always smile whenever I think of him. Even talking about him makes me happy. But I have never ever spoken to him.

In fact, I am not sure if he even knows that I was attracted towards him. But I was heartbroken when I got to know that he was married. I decided not to marry anyone. That is when a guy came into my life. He proposed to me when I was doing my second year of college. He was from a different college and was two years older than me.

He loved me like crazy. When he first proposed to me, I said, “No.” My heart was still set on my crush. So I never bothered about him.

In fact, I hated the fact that he was behind me all the time. He kept troubling me for two full years but I was not yet ready to accept him. Then came a day when I felt that he was the one for me. I said, “Yes, I love you!” Of course, he was happy. He couldn’t believe that I had accepted his proposal. We started texting each other and often, this continued till midnight. We met every day. We were really close to each other.

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I completed my graduation and took up a job. Everything was fine. I experienced my first heartbreak when I happened to check his email. I found an email from a girl who had proposed to him. Yup, I knew he had never cheated on me but he had decided to marry her in case I never accepted his love. I felt I was just an option for him.

I fought with him. He tried to convince me. In fact, he had even told that girl that he loved me. But she continued to trouble him.

This created a rift between us and I wanted to break up. But he didn’t want to leave me. It took me more than a year to slowly and completely come out of this.

He was by my side always. Whenever I had any problem or faced any kind of trouble, he was the only soul who stood beside me. I called myself a lucky person and was happy that I had chosen him because he was with me in happiness and in sorrow too.

I am a very soft-spoken person. But people rightly say, ‘You are who you are only with the person you truly love.’ So with him, I was totally the opposite. I fought with him; I shouted and lost my temper too. He fought back but he never gave up on me.
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Like most other girls, my dreams about my future husband did not match with the real picture. But still, I loved him. If you asked me the reason for this, I would say that I loved him because he loved me so much. He had waited for two long years for me, though I was not at all bothered about him at that time. I had dreamt about a guy who would be the only son of his parents. I didn’t want my future husband to be a mummy’s boy.

Nothing matched with my dreams but still I loved him. No, I think he made me love him with his unconditional love. My parents were happy with my choice because he is a nice guy and no one could hate him.

Years passed and our relationship grew stronger. We had even decided the names of our children. He never allowed sunlight to fall on my face. He cared for me like a newborn baby. I felt so lucky. I knew he had 6 siblings and he was a mummy’s boy. But still, I decided to marry him because I knew I couldn’t live without him. We went around for 10 years. Finally, at the age of 31, we decided to get married. He is not from a very well-off family. I too fell in the same category.

We had to take a loan for our wedding. He made all the arrangements for the wedding expenses while I struggled to get even a loan. Even during such times, he stood by me and helped me financially.

Finally, we got married. Yes, I was so excited about our first night and honeymoon. He had made all the arrangements for our honeymoon trip. That trip will remain in my mind and heart forever. His love for me increased with each passing day and he made me fall in love with him again and again. We had planned to have a baby after 6 months, but I got pregnant the very next month.

We had so many ideas about making love. But now I am not sure if I even satisfied him in bed.
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I fell sick during my pregnancy so I had to go back to mummy’s place because his mom couldn’t take care of me. Of course, I didn’t even expect her to do so. My life and my love took a turn here. The person who loved me the most fought with me every week. He was angry because I was not staying with him in his house. He could not face the reality though I was finding it difficult to do my own things.

But yes, even in those fights, I felt his love for me. I knew he was missing me badly and that is why he was fighting with me.

Even then, he allowed me to stay in my mom’s place throughout the pregnancy. My heart was broken for the second time now. Though I knew he would never cheat on me, I found out that he was spending most of his time chatting with a girl. It was for a good reason of course. But I was heartbroken to note that he had found himself a friend to chat with while I was sick. He never hid anything from me and told me that he chatted with her till late in the night. He even discussed what they chatted about. The girl started acting weirdly and said that he didn’t spend time with her. We both fought over this and he finally blocked her.

My due date was coming closer. Due to a lot of complications, a normal delivery was not possible. I was in the operation theatre when I first saw my little bundle of joy. Our little princess was born. We were so happy.

My husband took care of me and stayed in the hospital during the nights until I got discharged. He paid my hospital bills and never troubled my parents or me for anything.

I went back to my husband’s place after 3 months. I found it very painful when I saw that he loved his daughter more than me now. I became secondary in his life now. I don’t feel bad about it because she is my daughter too. She is our angel. I know that all new mothers feel the same way.

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But sometimes I felt I was jealous of my own daughter. The worst part is that the love that he has for his mom drives me crazy. I hate my life.

My mother-in-law doesn’t allow me to cook for my husband. If I try to cook something for him she says that he doesn’t eat that. The very next day she will make the same dish for him. She doesn’t like it when I wash or iron his clothes. She is indirectly taunting me with her actions and behaviour and is trying to create a rift between us.

I have no privacy even in my bedroom. Whenever I go out and come back, I notice that things have changed around my room and wardrobe. She even opens my wardrobe without my permission and in my absence.

The person who loved me crazily and said he will take care of me like a princess says he still loves me but he wants me to adapt to whatever is happening at home. The person who stood by my side and solved every single problem of mine lifts his hands up and says, “OK, you don’t do anything.” “That’s OK, you try to forget it.”

The person who was ready to face the entire world for me is now unable to face his own mother.
Author's Note:

To all mommies’ boys: Your wife still loves you. That is why she has never spoken harshly with your loved ones. But please understand that your mom has always been with you but your wife is still new to your house. She trusts you alone in your house. Don’t make her cry by ignoring things. At least stand by her side when she needs you.

Editor's Note:

We tend to dismiss such issues very casually because they seem so trivial to us. But they are very important to the newly married woman. All she yearns for is some love and respect in her marital home. With a little understanding and sensitivity we can all lead happier married lives. Share this story because such simple things will prove to be worth our while.